I suppose I should thank you, Glenn Beck, for finally clearing things up for me. You see, I haven't known which hole to stick you into. I wasn't certain how to respond to you. I've heard you, Mr. Family Values Guy, spouting your deeply-held pro-life views, decrying the encroachment of secular progressive values in American life, and boohooing the nation's apparent slide into socialism. For these and many other reasons, I naturally pegged you as a conservative, a sort of Rush Limbaugh wannabe who waves the flag and serves up generous portions of apple pie to Mom and whoever else will listen. After all, did you not say, “I am a 'conservative,' I'm not a 'Republican,' and there's a big difference.”?1
For a while, I thought you might simply be a clown, a guy who scores a few points by reducing the opposition through absurdity. (a la Steven Colbert and John Stewart, et al) Yes, I saw the cover of that book you wrote where you're all dressed up like Stalin with your big lip jutting out there like Evita Peron's balcony.2 You were a scream. I have to admit, you had me going for a while.
At times, Mr. Beck, you managed to come across like a sincere patriot. Not long ago, I saw you get all broken up and weep openly on the air. “I'm sorry,” you said, “I just love my country, and I fear for it.”3 You turn on the waterworks a lot, did you know that? Are you really that sad for your country, Mr. Beck? Or are things just not going your way?
You waded right into the middle of that whole Tea Party thing. You started talking about nine this and twelve that, so I thought, 'maybe he's a closet libertarian and I just didn't notice.' You told the Miami Herald: ''Every day that goes by, I'm more and more libertarian. I've always been a conservative. But every day I find myself believing more and more in states' rights, individual rights–let people alone, get the government out of everybody's lives, let everybody rule themselves.”4
Yes, Mr. Beck, you're a multi-faceted soul, a man of many talents.
Before you converted to a self-described “libertarian,” did you bother to get out your Funk and Wagnall and look up the meaning of the word? Did you miss the fact that, as a species, we libertarians are inherently cynical about the benevolence of governments? Did it get past you that we expect governments to be open and responsive and to protect liberties, not destroy them?
Unlike any “libertarian” I've ever known, you have this thing about grassroots Americans who expect their government to answer a few honest questions about something that's very important. I'm talking about your incessant fixation about the 9-11 Truthers. Let me be clear: I am not one of them, but I'm honest enough to admit they are asking some mighty unnerving questions. Uncomfortable, downright scary questions that need answers–but guess what? The government isn't answering. Even members of the 9-11 Commission have gone on record saying that the full truth was not divulged.5
Are you “libertarian” enough, Mr. Beck, to admit that “We the People” have a right to call our government to account and hold it responsible to deal truthfully with us? Whether the government intentionally caused the 9-11 attacks or not isn't the bottom line question. Here's the real bottom line: Is the federal government now our master? Have we become its slaves? Has government 'of the people, by the people, for the people' perished from the earth?
If you get right down to it, that's really all Debra Medina was saying. She said the 9-11 Truthers were asking questions that needed answers–and she wasn't going to question their right to ask those questions and get those answers. Oh, I know, she really hemmed and hawed around. She made a mess of it, because she didn't expect a good “conservative” and “libertarian” to throw her such a loaded, jacked up, bean ball of a question. You caught her flat-footed, because you're a chameleon, Mr. Beck. She didn't know which skin you were wearing that day. Were you the conservative, the clown, the patriot, or the libertarian? Ms. Medina didn't know she was being punked on national radio. She didn't realize you had this insane hatred of average Americans asking honest questions of their government. (You said you were going libertarian, right?)
I'll tell you, sir, I know you're all fanned out like a peacock right now. You're proud of what you did. You exposed that “wild-eyed, lunatic fringe weirdo,” didn't you?
Well, as a proud Texan and real libertarian, I'll tell you what you really did. You destroyed the campaign of someone that we desperately needed in Texas. Debra Medina had fresh and daring ideas that were exploding in the minds and hearts of Texas voters. Her star was rising rapidly in the Lone Star State, because we had finally found someone who made sense, who wasn't sold out to cronyism, big government, and politics as usual. She was the voice of a revitalized Republican Party–recast in its original libertarian trappings. She had real answers to real problems. She didn't talk about 9-11 Truthers. She focused on restoring property rights, limiting the size and scope of government, lowering and even eliminating taxes, and restoring constitutional government. Those are all things you've said you believe in, Mr. Beck. Why did you have to drag her into the middle of your conspiratorial fantasy?
We know how much you love Rick Perry. I watched you ride to his rescue. Did you and your new Fox cohort, Sarah Palin, cook up this ambush? (We know she loves Perry too) So everything's all clear now. Glenn Beck: shill for the politics-as-usual, big government, warmongering, neocon wing of the Republican Party. Thanks for destroying the greatest thing to come along in Texas since Sam Houston himself.
1 Commentary: Obama no, McCain maybe; CNN.com; www.cnn.com/2008/US/06/25/beck.conservatives/index.html
2 Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government by Glenn Beck
3 Glenn Beck; Fox News Channel. You Tube; www.youtube.com/watch?v=oumQl8neO6w&feature=PlayList&p=3C1384AAD1E10056&index=4
4 Miami Herald, January 2009; www.lp.org/blogs/donny-ferguson/glenn-beck-im-more-and-more-libertarian
5 Former Senator Max Cleland; http://www.democracynow.org/2004/3/23/the_white_house_has_played_coverTweet