Sarah Palin's Magical Mystery Tour

Just like the old traveling circus of decades past, when Sarah Palin and her troupe roll into town everyone comes to the show, especially the news crews.

You can almost hear the bellowing voice of the Ringmaster; “Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, to see the latest, the greatest side-show since Barnum and Bailey. See how she blames the liberal press for her every fumble. Watch her charm you with her cute little wink as she bludgeons a fish to death and gives an interview in front of a turkey farmer cutting off the animals head. And dont forget to visit the momma grizzly cage and lipstick wearing pigs over in the center ring.”

This show has jugglers of the truth, magic tricks to give the illusion that this is a pre-campaign tour, and a fun house full of mirrors that will change your face so that you will be unrecognizable.

Oh, sorry, that’s her daughter.

The mirrors will, however, distort the truth at every corner and make you tremble in horror at the thought of this circus performer taking her act from the center ring to the oval office.

Of course the one question that everyone wants to know, and the one question that Palin is refusing to answer is; will she run for President of the United States in 2012, or 2014, or 2028, because as long as she doesn’t answer, and she is so very, very good at not answering, the show will go on.

And on, and on and on.

As long as Palin keeps everyone in the dark, she’s news. She’s the perfect star of the show where no news, is news. Once she decides, one way or the other, the show is over.

The only reason the crowds gather, the only reason she’s receiving so much media attention and the only reason anyone cares to go out of their way, way out of their way, to read through some 24,000 emails, is that there may be a chance Palin will declare her candidacy.

But she won’t.

Every serious politician and every serious voter knows that this is only a show. Palin is not going to run for President or any other public office ever again. Why take a job that pays a quarter of just what she’s making on her book sales and public appearances? Right now, Palin is getting all of the perks with none of the restrictions that an elected official has to adhere to if they are, in fact, a pubic employee.

She’ll actually have to read a newspaper.

The only person who is hoping that Palin will be the next President will be her vice-president, who will know, after being in office only 2 years, she’s going to quit and the VP will then become President!

Palin’s mystery tour is waiting to take you away, hoping to take you away, coming to take you away, and soon she will just go away.

And for those who just cannot get enough of the free freak-show, you can now buy an overpriced theater ticket and watch her in very own movie The Undefeated, coming exclusively to AMC Theatres on July 15th.

Will it play in 3D, I wonder?

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