Ron Paul Revolutionary and the TSA: The Juvenile Plan
Fight fire with fire. by John Armstrong
(libertarian)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Ron Paul got it right when talked about flight 253 and the propaganda machine intended to scare Americans. Many articles have been written about the underlying purpose of the coming roll out of full-body scanners at airports: Public Humiliation. Ever notice how all of the pictures you see online of these machines show a concealed weapon or pictures of passengers holding their hands in the air? What do these images tell the public? People who are scanned are guilty, and that we should submit, with raised hands, to more 4th Amendement destruction and government usurpation of power.
While flying out of New York on my honeymoon, I decided to place my boots on the podium of one of the TSA workers who was checking my I.D. I've never understood the reason for this. Didn't all of the alleged hijackers on 9/11 have I.D.'s? She told me I had to remove my boots from her podium. I explained to her that as long as she had on a federally issued uniform, she was actually my employee and as my employee she didn't get to tell her employer what to do. I also had to explain to her that it wasn't "her" podium since I paid for it. She didn't like this at all, and told me to take my boots down. I asked her where they belonged, and she replied, "On the floor." I said, "Exactly--they belong on the floor, on my feet, and the day they are allowed to stay where they belong, I'll no longer have the need to put them on my podium.
She was furious and started scribbling on my ticket which meant that she had personally selected me for extra screening. I guess terrorists normally make scenes when checking in pre flight or something. After going through the metal detector, I told them I wasn't interested in having my 4th Amendment rights violated further because some person didn't like what I had to say. I then continued to walk, until several people stopped me. I went to the extra screening area and made sure to let them know that this was not a search to which I was consenting. The supervisor came over and started telling me that flying wasn't a right--it was a privilege. And I let him know that he was right, it was a privelege I acquired when I traded the fruits of my labor for a ticket to fly. I asked him how he could sleep at night after destroying liberty and Constitutionally protected rights all day. He was getting more and more livid and threatening me by saying I wouldn't be flying. I just laughed at him and said, "Really, you're going to deprive me of the right to use my property without due process just because I know and care about my rights? Figures." Anyway, my beautiful wife distracted him and asked him, "Have you ever read the Constitution?" Love that girl. His jibberish response was classic.
After finally making it through, another passenger told me to "grow up and stop making scenes." I was about to have an interesting exchange with him until he made me laugh by adding, "These people couldn't get jobs at K-Mart." This is what really got me thinking about how to better approach the problem so I decided to help them by educating them. Call it Stage 1. I now give pocket Constitutions to TSA workers (I actually have to leave them with their supervisor, but I leave multiple copies).
I fly twice a week for nine months of the year. I despise the TSA and all it stands for. I've had more exchanges with this bureaucratic bunch than I can recall. I've been told several times as I was being searched by federal government agents without a warrant for using my 1st Amendment right properly or as I was having my properly confiscated that they were "just following orders." Can you say Nuremburg?
Thinking more about what that man said to me, he's right about the level of intelligence, but I think he's wrong about how to handle it. I've been silly. It's time for Stage 2. It's time to fight fire with fire. Or humiliation with humiliation. Instead of growing up, as my fellow passenger suggested, I'm going to go juvenile when these full body scanners roll out.
I will refuse to be virtually stripped searched. Period. End of story. In order to build my business, I must fly, so I will be patted down instead. I'll continue to hand out pocket Constitutions and create a stir, but I have a new plan that will be far more effective.
The Juvenile Plan: While being patted down, I will make sure more than one person can hear me say, "Ohh yeah, touch me there, that's right, I know you like it, yeah big boy, rub that leg, just a little higher, mmmm, yeah, you like that don't you, touch me, pat me down, you're feisty, mmmmhmmm, you know just where I like it, don't stop, keep touching me, mmmmm."
Why would I do this? It's simple. The point of all these procedures is humiliation. The people implementing them have very low emotional intelligence. I can't imagine a better way to make them not want to do their job than outright embarrassment. After I go through my home airport enough times, there won't be a lot of people left who will waste much of my time by patting me down. If humiliation is enough to make passengers willing to give up Constitutionally protected rights, I'm sure it could convince menial employees to give up their bureacratically appointed powers.
I may look like an idiot, but I'll never be standing there with my hands in the air surrendering to the wishes of people who have no legitimate power over me. Feel free to join me in resisting this next onslaught on our liberty.
Your Fellow American,
John Armstrong
strongarmedjohn@yahoo.com
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Your article makes me want to laugh and cry simultaneously! :) I would like to be a fly on the wall when you put your new plan into action. :)
I would also be interested in hearing about what kind of business requires you to fly twice a week for 3/4ths of the year, either here or in the Lounge or privately if you like. :)
Thanks for this enjoyable and entertaining article!
You should go in there like a disguised freak show - business suit on top of bottom-less leather chaps, fishnet shirt, and 12" sex toy in trousers. Just make sure you make lots of non-threatening physical contact with them. They should be mentally unnerved after feeling up your bulbous vibrating unit.
Is there a way to write on my belly the words: "Fuck the TSA" in such a way that it could be seen by the body scanners?
Or maybe I should start selling a line of underwear for traveling so that the words: "Fuck the TSA" show in the crotch.
If my kids go through the machine? Is that child porn. If my kids get patted down instead, would that make the TSA people pedophiles?
What if I decide on my free will to get completely naked in front of everybody while waiting in the TSA line? Would I be arrested for public nudity? So they can see me naked but I can't expose myself.
Wow, why act like child and cry when things don't go your way? Why mock the screeners, they are doing their job. Cry at congress, they make the laws. Or, talk to Obama and tell him your consitutional rights are being violated when you are asked to take off your boots and get screened like everyone else. And while you are there, sit in his chair and put your feet up on his desk (excuse me YOUR chair and desk, how silly of me) and tell him that Yes I have read the consitution and understand that it is more than a hassle to go through TSA. But making all the scenes in the world will not change a thing if Congress and the Government does not change the law, or make a law changine what TSA does. You pissing off a bunch of TSA workers will do nothing but make you seem like a jackass to scores of people, even those who understand what and why you are doing it. When George Washington and company thought their rights were being infringed by the British, did they act like kids and pout and make a scene such as the one you getting off on a patdown? No, they fought and took action. Arguing with a TSA employe about were boots belong is not action. Sorry for the long comment and any spelling errors. Good day.
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