Topic: Media
Top Ten Uses for Time Magazine Time, in its infinite wisdom, has chosen to grace the cover of the December 28th issue with the face of Ben Bernanke. Fortunately, they have left it up to us to decide what to do with this issue. Here are a few suggestions for your consideration.by creator
(libertarian)
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I almost fell out of my chair when I heard of Time Magazine's pick for what was once called "Man of the Year" but is now, due to what can only be called extreme political correctness, called "Person of the Year."
The editors at Time, as demonstrated by their choice of Ben Bernanke, evidently subscribe to the same sort of smokes that appear to be enjoyed by the committee that selected Barak Obama as the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. We are demonstrably living in an Orwellian world of NewSpeak in which Up is Down, Wrong is Right, and the most undeserving, nay, anti-deserving, are elevated to hero status by a media that has thrown over all rationality in the pursuit of effective propaganda. One need only observe Ron Paul raking Bernanke over the coals again and again to begin to understand just how bizarre this is.
If you are looking for a more serious commentary on the Time article, you might want to read Walt Thiessen's "Fraud of the Year." However, because the geniuses at Time have again proven that they've abandoned any semblance of responsible journalism, I thought I would comment on their choice in the form of a "Top Ten List," ala David Letterman and Late Night.
And so, without further fanfare, hear is my "Top Ten List" of "Appropriate and Effective Uses for Time Magazine," most especially for the December 28th, 2009 issue with Mr. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke on the cover:
10. Quick IQ Test (Use it to check almost anyone for a serious lack of authentic financial knowledge.)
9. Doorstop (Either wad it up or use a bound stack from a nearby newsstand.)
8. A Firestarter (Great for those hobo fires in trash barrels under LA freeway interchanges.)
7. Test Fodder (Use it to test that new High-Strength Paper Shredder you got for Christmas.)
6. Dart Board (It's a "double issue," and as such, nearly thick enough. If not quite thick enough, feel free to use two or three copies.)
5. A Gift Subscription for your Worst Enemy (You may want to send it anonymously.)
4. Pain Management at the Dentist's Office (The pain of reading the Time article on Bernanke will undoubtedly numb you to the pain of your dentist's drill.)
3. Compost (Run it through that heavy duty shredder. Your vegetables will thank you!)
2. A Sears-Roebuck Catalog Substitute (Hang or stack some issues in the outhouse.)
And, last but not least (drum-roll please!) our Number One use for this issue of Time Magazine:
1. Birdcage Liner (Use as many face-up copies as needed, but be sure to apologize to the birds in advance!)
Thanks and a tip of the hat to my oldest grandson, Chris Vaughn, for helping me compile some of these novel applications. I hope they might help you make the late, not so great, Time Magazine at least marginally useful (although your mileage may vary!)
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This is the same Time magazine that declared "We are all socialists now" back in March, and then produced this extremely slanted article on the Health Care debate (http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1945200,00.html?xid=feed-yahoo-full-nation-related). Time magazine is nothing but statist propaganda, and could not become irrelavent fast enough along with the other 20th Century news sources fighting for their livelihoods.
@Larry: I fear I must disagree with you. The presidency is relatively temporary, whereas federal reserve chairmen can continuously meddle in and destroy our lives for many, many years.
@Stephen Jaye: Time's opinion notwithstanding, I for one am not a socialist, thank you! Time is indeed nothing but a statist mouthpiece, and well suited to the uses I've described in this article.
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