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A Bird's Eye View
columnist: Raven West, J.D.

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Topic: War
The "Fish Cheer" 40 years later

It's the same ole song, with a few modifications
by Raven West, J.D.
(libertarian)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Yeah, come on all of you, big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Afghanistan
So put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.
And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop's Afghanistan;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.
Well, come on generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Gotta go out and get them Taliban ?
The only good terrorist is the one who's dead
And you know that peace can only be won
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come.
And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop's Afghanistan;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.
Torture is just the surest way
To protect the good ole U.S.A.
There's plenty good money to be made by wars
By using the Army to feed our cars,
Just tell us all the countries we fleech,
Is for the goal of worldwide peace.
And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop's Afghanistan.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.
Well, come on mothers throughout the land,
Pack your boys off to Afghanistan.
Come on fathers, don't hesitate,
Send 'em off before it's too late.
Be the first one on your block
To have your boy come home in a box.
And it's one, two, three
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Afghanistan.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Yeah, come on all of you, big strong men,
Uncle Sam needs your help again.
He's got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Afghanistan
So put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop's Afghanistan;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Gotta go out and get them Taliban.
The only good terrorist is the one who's dead
And you know that peace can only be won
When we've blown 'em all to kingdom come.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop's Afghanistan;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Torture is just the surest way,
To protect the good ole U.S.A.
There's plenty good money to be made by wars
By using the Army to feed our cars,
Just tell us all the countries who we fleece,
It's for the goal of worldwide peace.

And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop's Afghanistan.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

Well, come on mothers throughout the land,
Pack your boys off to Afghanistan.
Come on fathers, don't hesitate,
Send 'em off before it's too late.
Be the first one on your block
To have your boy come home in a box.

And it's one, two, three
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn,
Next stop is Afghanistan.
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.

With  apologies, (maybe not) to Country Joe & the Fish

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©2009 Raven West, J.D., all rights reserved. You must have written permission from the author in order to republish this work.
Published: Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Last modified: Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The views expressed in this article are those of Raven West, J.D. only and do not represent the views of Nolan Chart, LLC or its affiliates. Raven West, J.D. is solely responsible for the contents of this article and is not an employee or otherwise affiliated with Nolan Chart, LLC in his/her role as a columnist.

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Reader Comments:

Posted By: daddysteve
Date: 2009-08-19 12:39:57

You're really showing your age, dusting that oldie off and trotting it out. I guess I must be old too, since I know what you're talking about. Btw, I like the modifications to make it relevant. Though not politically correct, towelhead would rhyme with dead.

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Posted By: David S
Date: 2009-08-19 15:08:32

Guess I must be a pretty old geezer. I remember that tune. But the one improvement today is that there is no draft. If you don't enlist you aren't forced to go there. And that's one reason why the Democrat's talk of mandatory service is so disturbing.

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