Topic: Humor John Doe Lives Satirical look at health care by John Layman Hey look at John Doe
Laying there on his back.
Just another average Joe,
A disappearing act
Laying on a slab,
An antiquated artifact
Chilling in the lab.
A working stiff who simply lacked
A politicians gift of gab.
Sent down from emergency,
The system must have failed.
John Doe was carrying no ID
So his services derailed.
Somewhere between the HMO
And the receptionists chagrin
He laid upon the gurney shaking
Until his heart caved in.
The ER doctor shook his head
Then quickly made the call.
An intern pushed the hapless Doe
Into an elevator down the hall,
Down to that last great waiting room
Where all good dead men go,
And left him by some other stiffs
With tags upon their toes.
He did not seem unusual
As he lay there turning grey.
No one seemed to wonder
Just how he got that way.
But three thoughts did occur to him-
"I've been left behind,"
"There's more of me than ever before" and
"I'm gonna give someone a piece of my mind."
So John shouted out inside his head.
Maybe no one heard,
Maybe some one did.
But somehow something in him stirred,
The nametag jiggled on his toe
And then he began to shake.
Then a janitor screamed as he walked by
Because he saw this dead guy,
Sitting up awake
All bug-eyed and trying to speak
Like a zombie
On a coffee break.
The janitor called the coroner
And he said,
"Man, you better get right down here."
The coroner rushed right down
And saw this dead man sitting there.
Then the coroner said to the janitor
(His face turning red ),
'Well, I thought that he was dead,
And I filled out the proper form
But now we have a situation
And we must not raise alarm."
Then the janitor began to fear
John Doe might come to harm,
So he dropped his mops
And ran upstairs
And called the cops.
Well our Dear John was standing now
Trying to clear his throat.
The coroner was wondering how
And reaching for his coat
As a crowd began to gather.
The news was spreading fast
(Because the janitor told everyone as he was running past)
And they were all amazed together
When John Doe gave the coroner a shove, and croaked,
"Hey, what gives!"
As the janitor shouted, to the world above
"John Doe Lives"!
Now the moral to the story is a simple one
It's true.
You cannot trust an HMO
To take good care of you.
They will send you to the coroner
And he will tag your toe
And consign you to the darkness down below,
Because all of us are nameless faces
And they just want our dough.
But you can trust a janitor
Cause he's just another Average Joe.
We need some folks to drop the mops,
Call the cops
And save John Doe.
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©2009 John Layman, all rights reserved. You must have written permission from the author in order to republish this work.
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