This is the fourth article in a series about moms making false allegations of child molestation against dads during divorce and custody battles. by Jake Morphonios
(libertarian)
Monday, February 16, 2009
While a false claim of sexual child abuse can be made at any time, the majority of allegations are made in conjunction with divorce and child custody litigation. If you suspect that your wife is preparing to leave you, or if you are already involved in a child custody case, now is the time to be vigilant. Remember, a false child abuse claim is not really about the protection of children. The fact that you have never done anything inappropriate with your child is irrelevant. A false allegation is 1) a legal stratagem designed to gain the upper hand in a child custody dispute, and 2) a weapon of revenge used to inflict maximum damage against the victim.
The Ultimate Legal Stratagem
Family law experts agree that the "nuclear option" is fast becoming a standard tactic used to win full custody of children in court. The accused is immediately stripped of contact with the children, kicked out of the marital home, and is branded with a terrible social stigma. In this interim, mom is granted temporary sole custody of the children - thereby establishing a status quo living arrangement. Even if the allegation is unsubstantiated and the case dismissed, judges are wary of taking the children out of their "established" living arrangement with mom and transferring custody to dad.
Additionally, because it is virtually impossible to conclusively prove that mom made up the whole thing, questions will still linger as to the guilt or innocence of the accused. Most family law judges will "err on the side of caution" by granting primary custody to the true perpetrator of child abuse: the mom who subjected the child to the needless sex abuse investigation so that she could win her court case.
A Powerful Weapon of Revenge
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scored," so said William Congreve in 1697. Three hundred years later, these principles remain true. It would be inaccurate and irresponsible to suggest that the majority of divorcing women are conniving. But it is irrefutably accurate to state that a certain percentage of divorcing women are exceptionally duplicitous and vindictive. This group wishes to inflict the maximum damage possible on their husbands as revenge for those offenses which they believe their husbands committed.
The false allegation punishes the father by 1) denying him of contact with his child, 2) destroying the father's relationship with his child forever by brainwashing the child into believing that he is evil and dangerous, 3) inflicting emotional pain by ruining the father's reputation and cutting him off from the support of friends and family, 4) draining the financial reserves of the father who will bear the costs of the abuse investigation, and 5) subjecting the father to a grueling and soul-leeching process that will test the very limits of his coping abilities.
Signs to Watch for
Whether demonstrated before or after separation, there are certain actions and attitudes that may indicate that your wife is plotting against you. You should be cautious if you find that your wife/partner:
Speaks poorly of you to your children
Reprimands you for not taking better care of the kids
Complains that you don't feed the children properly
Questions the safety of your usual playtime activities with the kids
Asks you details about your bath time routine with the children
Accuses you of any sexually inappropriate behaviors
Threatens to report you to DSS or Child Protective Services
Makes copies of your emails, internet history or social networking accounts
Turns your children into "spies"
Has abandoned the marital home or demanded that you leave
Additional circumstances that should be considered:
You have had a dysfunctional marriage
Your wife tends to be overly-emotional or attention-seeking
You have a passive or dependent personality
You have children under the age of 8 years old
Your wife interrogates the kids about dad's bath time or sleeping arrangements
Your wife has bi-polar disorder or any related mental or emotional problems
Your divorce is especially contentious
Your wife is very interested in movies, books or TV shows about crime or abuse
Your wife has a circle of trouble-making girlfriends
Your wife has a history of making outrageous accusations against people
Your ex-wife is angry that you have a new girlfriend
Trust your instinct. Many men, in retrospect, recognize signs that their spouse was plotting against them. Watch for gathering storm clouds and find a safe haven before the lightning begins to strike. If your gut tells you that your wife may be preparing to falsely accuse you of abusing your child, now is the time to prepare a plan of protection for you and your children.
Next Lesson: How to Prepare Against a False Allegation
References:
Leving, Jefferey M. (1997).Fathers' Rights: Hard hitting and fair advice for every father involved in a custody dispute.New York, NY: Basic Books.
Seidenberg, Robert (1997). The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce-Custody Battle: A Tour through the Predatory World of Judges, Lawyers, Psychologists & Social Workers, in the Subculture of Divorce. Takoma Park, MD: JES Books.
Tong, Dean (2002). Elusive Innocence: Survival guide for the falsely accused. Lafayette, LA: Huntington House Publishers.
[Author's Note: The purpose of this series of articles is to address the specific issue of false child sexual abuse allegations made by women against men during custody litigation. However, any false abuse accusation made by either mom or dad which results in trauma to a child is a form of child abuse. Parental alienation tactics are used by both genders and should be equally condemned in the strongest terms possible, regardless of gender.]
Jake Morphonios is a child & family rights advocate and Executive Director of the North Carolina Family Rights Coalition (NCFRC). Neither Mr. Morphonios nor the NCFRC provide legal advice or assistance with individual cases.
Parents seeking support or information, or other parties interested in becoming involved in the family rights movement may contact Mr. Morphonios at: jake@ncfamilyrights.com
The views expressed
in this article are those of Jake Morphonios only and
do not represent the views of Nolan Chart, LLC or its affiliates.
Jake Morphonios is solely responsible for the contents
of this article and is not an employee or otherwise affiliated
with Nolan Chart, LLC in his/her role as a columnist.
Here i thought i was alone until i found Mr. Morphonies lessons .I have only been going thru this just a few weeks now but i see what my two kids face with my second wife (My little girl is 3 an My little boy is 6 fixing to turn 7)and yes he's Birthday just two weeks away an and i'm not allowed around them.I see what kind of mountain i have to climb reading all of the articles Mr.Morphonies lesson.When i first meet my wife i was 39 and she was 25. We both agreed that are age difference was not a problem. I was previously married with a 10 year old little girl that was the light of my life she would love to lay in my bed at night and watch cartoons.When my soon to be wife started coming and spending the night she would sleep in the other bedroom on the weekends that i had my little girl.Soon there after my wife to be suggested that i might need to be careful that someone might claim that you are sexually abusing your child while your in bed(I think back now how could i have been so blind to that statement)so we agreed that she would sleep with my little girl and i would sleep in the other bedroom. Well eventually we got married and little thiings started happen. Like one time i was cleaning the house and i broke my wife little figurine,well i just laid it down .I needed to get outside i was grilling out so a few minutes later i heard some screaming going on and it was my wife (about 6 months pregnant) screaming and hollering blaming my little girl about the figurine.I told her it was me but she did not believe it,my little girl was crying wanting to go home to her mothers. Eventually i got my little girl to stop crying and not wanting to go home.I got my wife to calm down and my wife says "we don't need to argue"(I thought to myself REALLY your the one that trip out). I knew no good was going to come out of this, so few days later after i took my little girl home my ex called and was wanting to know what had happen. Well i was explaining and my wife comes in and says that she will explain it to her so i hand the phone to her next thing i know there fighting over the phone and one of them hangs up. Well my wife press charges against my ex for making threats against her and had her arrested . She never told me that she press charges i found out thru my little girl next time she came to see me. I tried to get her to drop the charges she never did . I told her i was not going to the hearing and nothing really became of it ,my ex had to pay i fine and that was about it. Well we welcome a little boy into are family everything seem to be going fine for awhile( well i find i'm diabiatic no problem) .Alot of great times! Final oneday on the day i'm suppose to pickup my little girl .My ex calls me an says someone has made complaint to child protective service on me about my little girl,my world come tumbling down.She told me that are little girl denied whatever was said and she went on to say to child protective service that she was married to me eight years and that she didnt believe it either. Well child protective service cleared me because my little girl was 12 old enough to speak for herself . I never could figure it out who would do a thing like this to me . All i knew was child protective service said that the person that made the complaint said that we was laying in bed together. Could it be my ex in-laws ? or maybe my new mother in law . I had lot of problems with her. Onetime she even told me that child protective service better never come back to her house about my little girl (that struck me considering we never told her about child protective service) She also said i drag her down the road onetime with me inside the car driving while with window down and i was holding onto her arm .We went to court and judge found in favor of me ,she had no evidence. Well finally things got back to normal again and me & my wife decide to have another baby . I thought things were fine until one night she came out of my little girls room accusing her of texting to poeple about her .This time i stop her from attacking her and got her stuff out of the house and took her to her mothers house and she has never wanted to come back again , so i lost my little girl because of my wife(which my wife was pregnant with a little girl) Finally here i am about 4 years later my wife has left me accusing me of sexually abusing my 6 & 3 years old. Now i do know who done that to me with my oldest child .She was able to speak for herself to defend herself and me but 6 & 3 year old has no clue whats going on and they can't speak for themself. What they must be going thru. Im not there to protect (like a father suppose to when something bad goes wrong) i have no rights and the worse of all .Its the mother that i need to protect them from. All my 46 years of life i have never seen or felt anything like this. I will not plea bargain or anything else for im innocent. Jesus carried the cross and died on the cross for all mens sins . I think its time that my wife and who ever does this to other people or children that its not to late to get down on your knees.
here i thourht i was alone too.i was 14 years old when i ran away with mr. gary pontes . i was 11 when he started telling me that he was my guardian angel, and i was 11when he started having sex with me. he said he would take care of me .well let me tell y how he took care of me .He taught me things that an 11 year should never know.. He talked me into running away with him and said he would take care of me>He lieD!!! i WAS HUNGRY COLD AND IN FEAR.he didnt care. all he cared about was having sex with a 14 year p\old at the time.He has 4 kids that he dont give a durn about. He is a selfish grown man that prays on young children and prays that he dont get caught.If he wants to talk bout someone getting on their knees He needs to get on his first and foremost. he is a predator and if he dont leave and my family{especially my daughter alone, i will get anothet restraining order on him.. by the way if anybody wants to prove any of this call Jackson co investigators, jackson co court house.
By the way , ny daughter has a father that has taken care of her since she was 4 years old. he has supported with anyyhing she wants to do and he has gave her anything she needs and wants. he has supported her in everything she wants to do.he is the real hero in this situation!
gary, just so y know. sam is 18 years old in ten minutes! She is an exceptional young lady. she is so smart and so responsible. she has been going to high school and Northeast colledge. she id only 18 but she has 4 degrees.she has been going to high school, and working and going to colledge at the same time>honestly i dont know where she gets it from but i do know this. you should be very proud of her. Me and steve have done our best to raise her right.She gets her values from steve. i have done the best i can do for her as far as being a mother!. i have always been here for her and tried to teach her everything i knew {which is not much LOL]we have tried to raise her without her being spoiled but that is a hard thing to do.we have tried to give her everything she wants and needs and what we couldnt provide . ma ama and pa pa did!! she is a very special young lady. she is so beautiful and very responsible and smart. you really should be so proud of her, but i do ask u this>> please dont try to contact her because she has alot goning on in her life and she doesnt need your or pattys crap. she is a very smart and intellegent young lady and she dont need to be put in the midldle of all this crap. she has too much goiing on as it is>Gary Pllease , please! leave her alone>> she is doing so good and i dont want anything to get in the way of that.
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