Topic: Divorce & Child Custody Issues
The Big Illusion As a society, we need to recongnize that gender roles have changed. Women are no longer forced to stay home and raise the children. Now that females are able to join the work force and pursue finacial independence society needs to realize that traditional family is going to change.by P Hedt
(libertarian)
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
In recognition of this, society will be able to focus its attention toward moving the unit in a more desirable direction. The denial of family has put our society on a very destructive path. It is not denied directly, but rather indirectly be pretending marriage is a religious function rather than a function of the state. If marriage was a religious issue then who do couples have to be recognized by the state as legally married? Marriage was originally designed to protect women and children; now that women are free, it should be re-designed to protect children. In order to protect our children we need to restructure our ideas about marriage. Marriage does not work for love.
Marriage is no longer a religious institution. There are laws that dictate what constitutes a ‘legal’ marriage. There are controversies over the sanctity of different types of marriages. How can government get involved if marriage is a religious issue? What is common law marriage? How can bigamy or polygamy be illegal if marriage is not an institution of the government? If it’s truly religious in nature then why is the government involved? The government became the ultimate authority as to whether or not a marriage exists. Blackwell defines marriage as "the socially approved bond of a man and a woman for the purpose of sexual communion, procreation and economic cooperation" (364). The first thing that jumps out at you (especially with today’s controversies) is that marriage is between a man and women. What interesting to me is that with religion supposedly being at the heart of the marriage matter, marriage being a "socially approved bond" is virtually overlooked. "Socially approved bond." Not a deity approved bond but a socially approved bond. Marriage is now a business partnership and will have the same success rate as such.
Marriage is now the sick man of America. It is only a shell. Marriage is dead and we are propping up its corpse with sticks. People are raised to try an achieve all that they can and to fulfill the American dream of independence and individuality. They are raised to shoot for that glamorous job that will earn them honor and respect. At the same time they are taught that to be happy they have to find the love of their life, get married and have children. These are two different ideals. They cannot be held at the same time. It hurts the children and eventually ends in divorce. Being stuck with the dilemma that life is to short to obtain both goals, people try to hold both at the same time. This is selfish. The children are getting caught up in the middle and raising themselves. Most people are to caught up in their own lives to worry about taking responsibility for the lives they create along the way. As a result, children will lose out on their childhood. According to Doctors James and Constance Messina, when the children are all grown up they will do the same thing but with more conviction. While propping up marriage, the fabric of society is unraveling. America is unraveling.
Marriage is not about love; love complicates marriage. Amanda Bower and Deirdre van Dyk write in Time, "lately, however, a new breed of therapist and ‘marriage educator’ is shaking up the profession. These therapists reject the passive, old-style therapies that emphasize personal growth over shared commitment and take a more aggressive, hands-around-the-neck approach to saving marriages."(1). Why does it take so much work to be married? Because too many emotions are involved for the fast paced society we have created. The mixture of business and pleasures can be an explosive combination. NeoMarriage will be a legal contract allowing two individuals to bind together to equal share in the payment of bills. If children are involved one of the members of this contract will be lawfully obligate to stay home with the children. Now people can have their religious traditional marriage based on love and religion without hurting their children. If not Neomarriage, then one member of traditional marriage needs to agree to put his or her life on hold until their children are raised.
Family has changed and unless society changes with it rather than staying in denial the future is threatened. We cannot move forward until we admit that marriage has changed. Marriage is no longer a religious issue: society has changed it into a legal issue. Marriage is a story that children are told to strive for; it’s also a dead weight to the stars we tell them to aim for. Until this aspect of our society is restructured the foundation of society will continue to rot.
References:
Blackwell, Dictionary of twentieth-century thought
Amanda Bower and Deirdre van Dyk, Time, 2004 v 163 i3 special issue p88
James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D., coping.org Http:www.coping.org/growdwn/inner.htm
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The views expressed in this
article are those of P Hedt only and do not represent
the views of Nolan Chart, LLC or its affiliates. P Hedt is
solely responsible for the contents of this article and is not an
employee or otherwise affiliated with Nolan Chart, LLC in his/her role as a columnist.
Posted By: Jahfre Fire Eater
Date: 2008-12-24 11:18:12
Hi P Hedt,
Good news for you! You don't have to worry about what society does. Society has no more intellect or choice about where it goes than do tracks in the snow. So you see, society has no choice but to adapt to how the family has changed as you requested. We can progress without waiting, the reflection of the results of millions of individuals making personal choices based on their own priorities and objectives are the substance that the society you speak of are made of. No need to cease our progress waiting for our reflection to catch up. It is right there all the time.
Society has no choice but to reflect the reality of all those individual choices; that is its definintion. If you would like to see more tracks in the snow going in a certain direction, you can't appeal to the tracks, you have to appeal to each individual making those tracks. Otherwise you are living in a fantasy land where society is a living, breathing, thinking person just like you and me. It isn't. Society is a reflection of the choices individuals make. Yes, I am repeating myself.
Defenders of liberty would make a case to the individuals track-makers that their best interests lie in a particular direction in an attempt to get more people to make tracks in that direction. Statists, Socialists and Liberals would attempt to use the force of government oppression to deny individuals the choice of making tracks in non-approved directions.
The bulk of both groups at least understand it is the individual, not their tracks in the snow that must change in order for society to change. The question comes down to this, will society reflect the free will of individuals or the forced will of the ruling elite?
In either case, society will but reflect the outcome. Oh dear, I've said it again.
Think macro and micro society. True that you cannot radically alter the course of a stamped in the snow, but you can circle the heard and slowly steer the direction. We can blindly run in a direction or we can try and think ahead and do alittle forcasting.I agree with you, fire eater, and think that implementing laws around marriage is wrong. I do, however think that society changes according to the dialog we create and maintain. We have a choice in our values and the ones we uphold. Philosophy changes the way society thinks. It is a moral judgment I make to take care of the lives I bring into this world. In order to be in a society we must have codes of conduct or chaos. The implications of a very good thing- women’s rights- has had consequences on a different level. It has taken out marriage as we know it, and we need to be aware of that and the implications it has on our future. When someone has a child, they need to raise it. That means that the husband or wife needs to stay home. It’s selfish, and neglectful to hire a stranger to do this. I understand that there are acceptations to this, circumstances that cannot be helped. That’s fine.
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