Nolan Chart
Home Be a Columnist Logon Columns Survey FAQ Newsletter Contact Print Ads Banners Links

It's Probably True
columnist: Aaron Bellyacher

Like This Article?
Thumb It!
20 thumbs so far

Topic: Election 2008
My snickers bar melted! Who is bailing me out? Where is my $1.79?

My candy bar melted and I'm out $1.79, someone rescue me!
by Aaron Bellyacher
(libertarian)
Saturday, September 20, 2008

Yesterday it was about 85-90 degrees, and I left my snickers on the passenger seat. I was shocked when it melted, I didn't know what to do. I was devastated, then I remembered that all those big investment and insurance companies made some bad purchases and the government gave them their money back, so I'm hoping they will do the same for me.

If they don't send me my $1.79, I'll lose my confidence in the candy industry, which will probably cause a run on chocolates, driving sugar demand lower and lower until Domino and C&H file for bankruptcy protection. I'm certified mailing a copy of the receipt and a picture of the melted candy bar to the Federal Reserve, I'll expect a press conference next week.

Ben, thanks in advance!

Good thing Ron Paul isn't in charge! (Kidding)

My snickers bar melted! Who is bailing me out? Where's my $1.79?

Did you like this article?
If you did, Thumb It!
20 thumbs so far

©2008 Aaron Bellyacher, all rights reserved. You must have written permission from the author in order to republish this work.
Published: Saturday, September 20, 2008
Last modified: Saturday, September 20, 2008

The views expressed in this article are those of Aaron Bellyacher only and do not represent the views of Nolan Chart, LLC or its affiliates. Aaron Bellyacher is solely responsible for the contents of this article and is not an employee or otherwise affiliated with Nolan Chart, LLC in his/her role as a columnist.

Report violation by Aaron Bellyacher of Nolan Chart LLC's terms of use policy.


More Articles By Aaron Bellyacher

Be A Columnist
Tell A Friend About This Article
Leave A Comment

Reader Comments:

Posted By: Rebecca Rounds-Neuman
Date: 2008-09-23 12:07:10

Exactly. Does anyone remember the Savings and Loan scandal of the Reagan Years? According to Project Censored (a Media-research Foundation) Americans have paid hundreds of billions in interest from that bailout. How much are we going to pay for another public bailout brought on by market-based chicanery and fraud? If we're going to bailout someone, we should bailout the home buyers, not banks. This will still help the crisis without consolidating all of the relief in the hands of the market manipulators/influence peddlers that bought the law changes that precipitated this crisis. Think about it, people still would have their homes, paid their mortgages, etc. Why do we insist on bailing out the few criminals instead of the many victims of adjustable-rate mortgages? If there is an accurate description of class warfare, giving relief money to investment corporations instead of investing citizens is it.

Report violation


Want to comment on this article? Leave your comment here. Your email address is required to track your comment. However, we will neither publish your email address nor distribute it to other organizations or persons. The only reason we might use it would be if we needed to contact you regarding your comment. All comments are subject to our terms of use policy.

Leave A Comment

Your Name:  

Your Email Address*:  

Your Comment: