Republicans and Democrats, Please Protect Us from Ron Paul!
Someone stop this quixotic left-wing, right-wing, long-shot, darkhorse, baby-delivering devil. by Grizzle Griz
(centrist)
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Every Negative Article You Have Read About Ron Paul in One.
Ron Paul is a 72-year-old dark horse, long-shot libertarian Republican with a longhorse, quixotic-shot bid for the 2008 Republican presidential nomination. As an obstetrician, he has delivered ten babies and he has served over 4,000 terms in Congress. Because he advocates trade, negotiation, and overall positive relationships with other nations, he is a strict isolationist.
Paul's foreign policies are backward like Colin Powell's in 2002. He believes the Bush Administration should pursue Osama Bin Laden rather than lure him into Iraq where he will, no doubt, turn himself into the authorities any day. He refuses to respect Halliburton's sovereign right to govern and to boost the American economy by charging the military $96 for each bag of laundry. There is no doubt that if Paul were President, he would force the troops to shower in warm, transparent water instead of the tasty green stuff government contractors currently provide with impunity.
Paul's economic policies are reactionary: hailing from the colonial times when Ronald Regan was the President. He has a strange disdain for everything America loves including budget deficits, bureaucratic mismanagement, the destabilization of the dollar, and the complete implosion of the Enron-like structure of Social Security. He wants to remove the capital gains taxes on hard assets like gold and silver, which has not been proposed by any serious economist since a November, 2007 interview with Alan Greenspan. On the other hand, Paul's opponents have demonstrated certain financial aptitude and have been endorsed by such economic heavyweights as Pat Robertson and Chuck Norris.
His affiliation with the Republican Party is equally laughable. By adhering to its core principles he represents its radical fringe. Having spent one year in the libertarian party and seventy-two in the Republican Party, it is questionable where his loyalties truly lie.
He is rightly ignored by the troops. Although the FEC reports that Dr. Paul has received more money than any other candidate from veterans and active-duty personnel, his opponents, who don't believe in conspiracies, know his supporters simply colluded with the FEC to deceive the public. Now they infiltrate the military, don their uniforms, and shoot support videos in helicopters and on tanks. Youtube should screen these videos for authenticity.
His supporters can be even more dangerous. They bring heated debates to political blogs and news columns, which were once serene and comfortable forums to trade baking recipes. His entire support consists of three potheads and one neo-Nazi who each raided their mother's purses to contribute 15 million dollars over the course of his campaign. The neo-Nazi personally endorsed Dr. Paul on his website as well as Jesus Christ and the value of eating leafy green vegetables. Like Dr. Paul, the Savior and the spinach industry have refused to disassociate themselves from the obnoxiously-attenuated connection.
Perhaps the most alarming aspect of Dr. Paul is that he, himself believes in conspiracies. In June, he was recorded on camera saying "hmm" to a spokesman for the 9/11 Truth group. He has also stated that some people may be ideologically driven to advocate for a North American Union and highway. It is preposterous to think that giant American corporations could benefit from an inflow of cheap labor and lower import tariffs. Los Angeles Times columnist, Stephen Braun, proved Paul was wrong by interviewing three men filling potholes on Interstate 5. "There is no such highway" they all explained, replacing future tense with present.
Jeffrey Toobin, a CNN post-debate analyst explained that this means Paul believes in magical "dark forces". He could not bless viewers with more insight, because CNN had to switch to a special Lou Dobbs report on the proposal for a NAFTA superhighway.
No doubt, Dr. Paul will be forgotten along with such political lightweights as Barry Goldwater, Ronald Reagan, and Thomas Jefferson, who preached identical views. The Republican Party should do its best to eliminate this threat of future success by disenfranchising an entire generation of newfound Republicans who were previously under the impression that they had to be Democrats to be right. This will protect the next generation from the blame for delivering a neglected, broken economy and a government that is $10 trillion in debt. And they will, no doubt, thank the current Republican Party for replacing political theory with Jesus.
The views expressed
in this article are those of Grizzle Griz only and
do not represent the views of Nolan Chart, LLC or its affiliates.
Grizzle Griz is solely responsible for the contents
of this article and is not an employee or otherwise affiliated
with Nolan Chart, LLC in his/her role as a columnist.
Posted By: Canadians for Ron Paul
Date: 2007-12-09 16:22:18
go to www.teaparty07.com - sign up for a historic day! save the nation! help us achieve the goal of 10 million dollars in ONE DAY! Shock the Media, Shock the World. Be a part of History! Sign up to donate to Ron Paul on the 16th of December! www.teaparty07.com
Any real American can see through this. Mr. Griz, posing as a true Libertarian, has simply got confused and is trying to spread the confusion. Hillary, Cousin Willard (Mitt), Obama and the rest are very experienced politicians, who know much better than you how government should be run, and for whom.
Getting people to research the issues and having them stop relying on sound bite, bumper sticker level analysis is no longer the American Way.
And all this nonsense about integrity, consistency, advocating for indivudual freedom, sound fiscal policy. What is that? Americans don't usually go for that. Someone has to put a stop to it right now. (And they are trying)
Thanks for injecting some good humor into a struggle that has left more than a few tense and irritable at times. As Ron Paul said, campaign but have fun.
You forgot to mention how Ron Paul wants to take all of our troops out of Iraq so that we may invade Israel instead. This proves that Paul is a racist and anti-semitic who helped the Hitler financially rise to power--wait that was the sitting president's grandfather:
No problem David. You know the criticism of Ron Paul is laughable. So make intelligent fun of it. You'll convince more people that way than by getting upset. Know what I mean?
Goldwater and Reagan are dead and gone, and good riddance to them. While I don't know of Dr. Paul himself is crazy, if he implemented his ideas, America would become the world's wealthiest banana republic.
On second thought, he's probably the best candidate for the views of the Republican party. Except for the religious loonies, their guy is Theocrat Mike Huckabee.
I'm glad that every single Democratic candidate (except Hillary) is so much (and so obviously) better than every single Republican one. Makes life so much easier than when the Democrats run a personality-free automaton with no apparent agenda against an idiot (see: last two elections).
The neo-cons have a Hispanic branch present at the debate. These deluded fools just booed the good Dr, preferring intervention in LA rather than talking to all.
Thanks for a very well written piece of satire. I laughed out loud and also forwarded the link for this article to friends. The last line is a killer!!
I love Steve's "l-o-s-e-r" comment! So insightful! Maybe you should actually say something that doesn't make you sound like a moron for a change.
Jeff D: Stop calling him a racist. If you actually read that posting rather than copy-pasting your little quip all over the internet, you might realize what he was talking about. Here's a nice quote:
Indeed, it is shocking to consider the uniformity of opinion among blacks in this country. Opinion polls consistently show that only about 5% of blacks have sensible political opinions, i.e. support the free market, individual liberty, and the end of welfare and affirmative action. I know many who fall into this group personally and they deserve credit--not as representatives of a racial group, but as decent people. They are, however, outnumbered. Of black males in Washington, D.C, between the ages of 18 and 35, 42% are charged with a crime or are serving a sentence, reports the National Center on Institutions and Alternatives. The Center also reports that 70% of all black men in Washington are arrested before they reach the age of 35, and 85% are arrested at some point in their lives. Given the inefficiencies of what D.C. laughingly calls the "criminal justice system," I think we can safely assume that 95% of the black males in that city are semi-criminal or entirely criminal.
Also, he never calls them "fleet-footed," but don't take my word for it - search the article.
Its sicking how when you have one man who is running who respects life and cares more about people then Money, gets called a Nazi. Being a Jew who supports Ron Paul and hearing being him called a Nazi its as laughable as Hilary Clinton being called Saint or Barrack Obama being called handsome.
You got a bunch of coward men in the Republican party who are not wiling to stand up for what is right. Then you get one man who has some sanity and you see how many people there are that don't like kind hearted people.
Mike Huckabee would could be a decent candidate. But hes just another GWB type clone who says hes a christians and won't stand up for whats right. Its sad how almost everytime a President does the right thing they get shot.
This is great satire. I love it.
Ron Paul is Soooo crazy for wanting to really deal with some of the biggest problems in America.
What a nut. Who's says something like "put America first"
thats just silly. Who in America believes we should put America first?
Crazy ol' Ron.... I love that guy.
"Perhaps the most alarming aspect of Dr. Paul is that he, himself believes in conspiracies."
"Jeffrey Toobin, a CNN post-debate analyst explained that this means Paul believes in magical "dark forces". He could not bless viewers with more insight, because CNN had to switch to a special Lou Dobbs report on the proposal for a NAFTA superhighway. Do the research CNN obviously cant decide what they think watch the video below of guess who ? CNN reporting on "the proposal for a NAFTA superhighway"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTShloR6u6A
Thought i would ad this as well anyone see a problem with this
"If you are sight impaired and would like help using this page please call 540-428-2787 in the USA, 9AM to 5PM Eastern Time Monday thru Friday" if they are sight impaired how are they sappsed to see the phone number?
Join us in Vegas on the 16th after you donate to the Tea Party by participating the Las Vegas Tea Party and Paul-a-Palooza. For more info, visit: WWW.LASVEGASTEAPARTY07.COM
Snicker. It's amusing to see people so much in denial.... suppose meteors killed every other candidate in the race ... and Ronny boy got in.... can you name, oh.... 1/2 dozen congress critters that would vote favorably on his crazy agenda?
Well, DRH, when the majority speaks, congress better listen. Remember...they dont vote on their principles, they vote on what they think will get them re-elected. Food for thought.
As an organizer for a Ron Paul meetup group, this article sure gave me some much needed laughter! Two big thumbs up, Griz! After going through so many truly frustrating news articles about the apathetic way Dr. Paul is being railroaded by the media, your tongue in cheek humor is very much appreciated! Keep up the great work!
Had I not been forwarned that it was hilarious, my shackles in the beginning of my read would have gone up like a "protective mother". Thanks for the laugh......POWER TO THE PEOPLE; WE WILL WIN FOR RON PAUL IN SPITE OF THE MANIPULATION OF THE POLLS , ETC.
Quite possibly the most beneficial Ron Paul article ever written. Facts and integrity haven't convinced the Downstream Media, perhaps humor will? If nothing else, this should be forwarded to every columnist and news anchor in the land, on the off chance that they might plagiarize it without reading too closely.
Very good. You forgot to use one of the media's favorite phrases: "Ron Paul, who barely registers in national polls". And you should have expressed doubt about whether his "on-line support can translate into votes". But other than those minor criticisms (heh), a very good article.
Well, you've just summed it up, and rather nicely. True enough, I need to contact HQ for a simple refund of my $2,300. Not to mention what I've spent beyond that. I'm going to immediately stop my door-to-door efforts. Perhaps I'll even resign as local Meetup assistant.
All this nonsence about freedom and liberty is soooo..... outdated. What was I even thinking? Bring on the new world order!
Obviously the safety of my great-great-grandchildren is paramount. I look forward to the Real I.D. this spring.
I laughed out loud during this whole article. The sad thing is I almost thought this was a typical cnn news journalist writing about Ron Paul not knowing how stupid he sounds.
Up 'till now, I've always felt like I just had to choose who was the least bad candidate for President. I thank God that I have a chance to vote for someone who thinks much like I do on many issues. Ron Paul all the way!
Those contractors provide water that is cleaner than that found in American homes. They are under army supervision and are in accordance with TB MED 577.7
If the water is green and slimy, then it was probobly local water.
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