My sincere thanks to Nolan Chart columnist Kipper Mathews for passing this story along. I've rewritten the whole thing, so any faults in it are mine alone.
One fine summer day in 2008, a John McCain campaign staffer is walking to work, when he sees a little girl standing in the front yard of her home, with a large box and a sign which crudely spells out "Free." Intrigued, he approaches the girl and asks her:
"Hello, little girl. What's in the box?"
"Kittens," she answers.
"Oh?" He peeks into the box. "What kind of kittens are they?"
"Republican kittens."
The staffer is so amused by that answer, that he pats the girl on the head and walks off without speaking. At work, he tells everyone he meets about the little girl and her "Republican kittens." Everyone agrees that it's a cute story, and goes off to relate it in turn. Finally it reaches the ears of Steve Schmidt, McCain's new campaign manager, who rushes in to tell his candidate about a great idea for a photo-op ...
The next day, the little girl is back in the yard with her box and sign; but this time the rest of the street is lined with reporters and cameramen. Suddenly a three-car motorcade pulls up, and John McCain himself emerges from the middle car. McCain swaggers over to the girl, and asks her in his heartiest voice.
"Hello, little girl. What's in the box?"
"Kittens."
"Oh?" McCain asks in mock surprise, "and what kind of kittens are they?"
"Libertarian kittens."
"WHAT?" McCain's features contort with fury, and he bends down to spit his next words into the little girl's face:
"YOU C*NT! Yesterday you said they were Republican kittens!"
"Yes," she explains: "But today their eyes are open."
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