Topic: Satire
J.R.R. Bush faces the lidless Eye of Iran The Tolkeinization of foreign policy.by Michael Stahl
(Libertarian)
Friday, May 16, 2008
Good King George stands with but the scant remnant of the West against the fell horde of Iran, and the cruel Islamadrim, who threaten the Elves of the Cedar and the Heights. Who will hear the call and stand, no matter how rare the hope, for the world of Man in the face of Mahmoud the Mighty and the treacherous Osama the multi-colored, and the vile Musla-Hia?
No more can the old alliances be relied upon, the Kings of old are weak and deliberative, unwilling all to face the resurgence of the great power they wounded, but failed to destroy, so long ago. The Men of the Isles will fight, but their strength is largely spent. Of the other Kingdoms, the infection of the cruel Islamadrim, fueled by the Wizard Osama, has spread to render them impotent to the threat, they are no longer men, but a devious approximation. They trade openly with the creatures of the Musla-Hia, and are suspect for it. The all-seeing eye of Tehran is upon them, and they quail in its gaze.
The Enemy seeks to enhance its power, a power it once had in its past Glory, and must be kept from it, or Darkness shall come from which there can be no light. Only the scantest of chances remain for Men in their weakness, a resurgence of the old alliance with the Elves of Ceder and Heights, but the time is short. Treasonous factions have been turned by the Eye, and would seek its council, and in so doing be undone. The Eye of Tehran does not share power, and its ambition is limited only by the level of compromise it finds in the hearts of Men. No one on the side of Good can suffer these creatures to live, and their sycophants must be cast down and ridiciuled.
Oh, wait, this is the real world. But according to our Glorious Leader the world is every bit as black and white as was Tolkein's phantasmal and allegorical creation. This Tolkeinization of foreign policy, with its accompanied comparison of the military capabilities of literal cavemen with the Weremacht and the, truly, fell SS deserves as serious a treatment as I've given it, and no more. How did that man ever become President...Harvard should sue.
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