Topic: Presidential Campaign 2008
Obama's Crotch Itch Problem This skinny candidate has a serious character flaw.by Joel S. Hirschhorn
(centrist liberal libertarian)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
I finally figured out why Obama so often looks uncomfortable, impatient and annoyed. He never seems to be a regular guy. One who can enjoy his public opportunities at local eateries and indulge himself like a real American enthralled with delicious unhealthy foods. To joyously let loose and just be a happy black guy able to live in a millionaire's McMansion and have a shot at being president after hardly learning how to be a senator. Why?
Deep down Obama wants to scream, because he is suffering from a severe case of crotch or jock itch or, more correctly in his case, bitch itch. As a presidential candidate in the public limelight 24/7 he restrains his natural desire to vigorously scratch his inflamed, drive-you-crazy itch, which is named Hillary. His wife understands that it has not resulted from any intimate physical contact with Hillary and surely feels his pain. Though Mrs. Obama must continually remind Barry that he cannot afford to let his incessant itch overcome his well-honed professional capability to hide the truth and keep smiling. Obama compulsively strives to be the super-successful black man he and his wife have been waiting for.
So Obama courageously keeps talking, selling change but unable to change his own misery. Silently and grinningly, he bears the pain and discomfort that is always wriggling in his consciousness like some alien indestructible life form. Often he must pause between words as he tells himself to resist the temptation to openly and brazenly acknowledge his pain – to just scream at the top of his lungs. And now you can better understand his various loony statements. He stays just one tempting moment away from dropping his messiah façade, falling off his pedestal and loudly screeching "Hillary is driving me freaken crazy and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
Now you know the rest of the story. Every time you see the big Obama grin remember what is driving him nuts – the Hillary itch that grows more irritating day by day, that just won't go away and might eventually cause his mental heat to melt his politician cool. To throw away his self-righteous script and scream obscenities as he confronts his pain.
Just imagine how stressful it is for Obama to stay so supremely confident, defiantly resisting that most human urge to scratch his Hillary bitch itch. His obsessive ambition to be the first black American president seems strong enough to resist rational human response. But is that the kind of person we want as president? Someone with such yes-we-can self-control, unable to boldly fight his pain because doing so might jeopardize his ego-soaked quest for the ultimate power? I see a character defect.
Considering that Obama has made his candidacy more about himself than ideology or policy positions, it is fair to be concerned that he is too cerebral and aloof. I want a president that knows how to scratch his itch. If he cannot act on his pain, how can he act on my pain and the pain of many millions of working stiffs? Indeed, maybe if he related more to the pain felt by Clinton supporters he could be the uniter we've been waiting for. But if he cannot unite Clinton and Obama supporters, and whites and blacks, how could he possibly unite Republicans and Democrats in government to change the same old politics? If anything, he has demonstrated that he is just another polarizer.
The views expressed in this
article are those of Joel S. Hirschhorn only and do not represent
the views of Nolan Chart, LLC or its affiliates. Joel S. Hirschhorn is
solely responsible for the contents of this article and is not an
employee or otherwise affiliated with Nolan Chart, LLC in his/her role as a columnist.
Hey, I'd be willing to acknowledge him as just "American" or "mixed" or half-white, half-black or whatever... IF he didn't align himself first and foremost as an "African-American", focusing on his African roots and fellow black pride extremists while turning his back on his white roots and the white American family who raised him! He's definitely an "Africa power" and "black America power" kind of guy. What's that about??
He had the potential to make the "race issue" a moot point by saying, "I'm just a man... just an American. I happen to be of mixed heritage and, while I'm proud of both, I don't align myself with or overly identify with either of them," and get away from the collectivism. But his background wouldn't really let him do that, would it?
Mr. Obama has dedicated his life to public service for some years, he lives more or less in the public eye most of the time, as do all persons in his position.
Were those who criticize to live in the public eye for a week, they would, I think, make less jokes with better taste. You would find it extremely annoying when the press reported on every belch, scratch, fart, and dropped food particle. Every stumble or hug of a friend gets publicaly reported, scrutinized, evaluated, and criticized for "gay content", "racial content", political content" and none of it is to your advantage, all of it denies you personal privacy. You can't step out of your house to pick up your newspaper unless you're appropriately dressed, you can't simply run down to the store and buy ice cream for your daughter's party. And that's all the time, darn near every minute of every day.
We enjoy freedoms because a few people are willing to live in the public eye.
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