Topic: Satire
When can I sign up for the National ID card? I was at the Oregon DMV today and I realized how great a National ID card would be. You know, it would be kind of like a social security number with a picture and a microchip.by Adam Rink
(Libertarian)
Friday, April 4, 2008
I was at the Oregon DMV today and I realized how great a National ID card would be. You know, it would be kind of like a social security number with a picture and a microchip. Also, add some DNA samples to that card. Anyways, I waited in line for 30 minutes to get to the window. I was number 50 and they were all the way down at 45 when I got my number. I had my social security card, birth certificate, a printed out copy of a utility bill, out of state driver's license, insurance card and the application for a driver's license. I was all set to go. I even went over the driver's education book the weekend before. I got to the window and the lady looked me over for 20 seconds as I fumbled through all my documents. Then she told me I couldn't apply. I asked why and she said they wouldn't accept my printed copy of a utility bill as address verification. As she quickly slid my application back over to me, I told her I don't receive bills via mail. Why would I, with identity theft, global warming and just the sheer problem of trying to store all those paper documents? She said too bad' and I would need to get a bill sent to me. That's the award winning service of the DMV; it just makes me want to call up the cable company and ask for technical support.
But then I got to thinking. All this DMV hassle must really be in place to prevent terrorism. Our government is on the ball at preventing terrorism. In order to protect our freedoms at home, they invade any country that looks like a terrorist threat. This is brilliant! I mean, why play defense when you can be on the offensive. This is the genius that makes our government better than anyone else's. This is also the reason I thought nothing of the denial as I slammed my papers back into my folder. I mean maybe they are right. Maybe I don't live in this state. It sure feels like I don't. Maybe I don't even live in this country. Oh man, I should have been freeloading instead of paying all these taxes for all these years.
It always amazes me that the Oregon Department of Revenue knows where I live to send a tax bill, but the Oregon DMV doesn't. You would think that by proving I was me, they could look up the rest of the information. Then it hit me the National ID card or even a microchip implant would surely solve this problem. I have been so foolish fighting against such a card for all these years. With one centralized system, I wouldn't even need to go to the DMV. That would surely screw over those ladies that work there, no more jobs for them.
Of course, that means that Oregon would have to connect its system to the federal government, systems for other states, and link its own state government agencies. Unfortunately, it will be another 20 years before the same kinds of technology that my credit card company had in 1990s will be implemented in government. Oh where, oh where, do those trillions of dollars we spend each year go? I guess the government could always force the credit card companies to provide the system. Oh well, it is probably best not to have a National ID card since we wouldn't want to lay off state workers or charge regular citizens the extra fees associated with the cost of implementing and running such a program. Then again those DMV ladies would probably work for the Department of National ID Registration (DNIDR). Of course, this is a federal job so they would have better benefits.
Too bad the government implements things so slowly in this country. Iraq got a newly elected government a few months after invasion, but when was the last time we replaced an entire body of government? Otherwise, all we will end up with is a National ID card that isn't accepted by state departments. So, we would still need a driver's license, voter card, fishing license, social security card, passport and national health insurance card. Opps, sorry, I thought Hillary had already won the election. Even worse is the microchip. One implanted microchip would turn into ten implanted microchips. All those implants would surely hurt. Then one chip would die and then in goes another chip. Soon your body has more chips than an AS400 server. Also, think about the effort it would take to try and verify an address or prove who you are in order to obtain a replacement National ID card. What ID could you provide if it was the only ID? I hope those newly appointed DNIDR ladies would show some compassion as I try to explain I am me.
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2008 Adam Rink, all rights reserved.
Published: Friday, April 4, 2008
Last modified: Friday, April 4, 2008
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It's funny with alot of the things the government wants to do. Over the next 20 years, the government will be faced with a 53 trillion dollar liability with social security. Us "kooky" libertarians offer an answer that would make these things like a "National ID" card affordable. It's so funny, it's like they want a fascist state but we are the only ones with a sound financial plan that would allow that to come to pass...what you'll get with a National ID card is more DMV ladies on higher and higher levels...you'll get a more and more pissed off public and more and more legitimacy for our libertarian views. The problem with Ron Paul is that he's trying to latch the libertarian message to the sinking ship of state which is the two party system...he's thinking short term with the assumption that if we are successful with taking over the Republican platform then party that they won't just develop another party and then sink us under the Republican name while waving their new name.
But I won't get a National ID card if I can help it.
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2008 Adam Rink, all rights reserved.