Topic: Constitutional Issues
False Child Sex Abuse Allegations - Lesson 3 The fear, shame and uncertainty felt by these falsely accused men cannot be put into words. No man can adequately describe his feelings, which adds to his position of isolation. He craves empathy and support, but a man accused of molesting a child will receive neither.by Jake Morphonios
(Conservative Libertarian)
Monday, March 24, 2008
Lesson # 3: How it Feels to Be Falsely Accused of Molesting Your Own Child.
A divorcing wife that falsely accuses her husband of sexually molesting their child is committing an evil act of supernal vindictiveness. In making this assertion, it should in no way be construed that this author is anti-mother, anti-woman or believes that the issue of false allegations is unique to one gender. Indeed, false abuse allegations may be levied by either party. However, the use of the specific tactic herein discussed is typically made by divorcing woemen against their ex-husbands. Needless to say, any false allegation of abuse by men or women should be considered a form of child abuse and condemned without equivocation.
While most moms have enough love and concern for the welfare of their children to spare them the horrible process of being included in a false sexual abuse allegation, an ever-increasing number of women are choosing to use this legal strategem to "level the playing field" against their husbands in divorce court. Renowned family law specialist, Jeffrey M. Leving (1997), has written: "the use of false sexual abuse allegations to win custody suits has become almost a standard tactic among disturbed mothers and unethical divorce lawyers" (pg 148).
The fear, shame and uncertainty felt by these falsely accused men cannot be put into words. No man can adequately describe his feelings, which adds to his position of isolation. He craves empathy and support, but a man accused of molesting a child will receive neither. The woman has succeeded at instilling in the man an all-consuming state of fear and defensiveness.
After making a false child sexual abuse allegation against dad, mom can sit back and watch the chaos ensue. She has been given full-custody of the children, pending an investigation of dad, and need not fear accountability should the scheme fail to produce the desired goal of total custody of the children and the destruction of her ex-husband's state of stability and happiness.
One of the most devastating results of a false sex abuse allegation is that dad is stripped of the privilege of contact with his children during the investigation. When the children are unable to communicate with their father a process of alienation begins. The more time that passes without contact, the greater the alienation. During this period of alienation, a child may be coached by the mother to support the allegation against the father. Dad can do nothing but watch as his children are coerced into believing that he has sexually assaulted them. Nothing hurts more than to hear one's own child say, "How could have done this to me? I hate you and don't ever want to see or talk to you again."
After the Emergency Ex-Parte Order has been granted, an investigation of the allegation begins. As part of this ongoing investigation by both CPS and local law enforcement, the reputation of the father is constructively destroyed. Family relationships become strained. Employers tire of granting time off work to accommodate the father's frequent court hearings and interviews. Social relationships are damaged, often never to be repaired.
The very process of being investigated causes many men to give up and grant the mother everything she wants from him. Sadly, many fathers are so traumatized by the horror of the process that they commit suicide (Seidenberg, 1997). False abuse expert, Dean Tong (2002), says of the emotional state of the accused:
Sleep is forever elusive, night-terror becomes common-place and depression is a constant companion. Rarely is there any support to be found within the community and rarely is there any sympathy for the falsely-accused. Throughout it all, you must bear the title "abuser," until you prove otherwise, if you can. Disorientation, denial, shock, confusion, anxiety, and disbelief are constant. Lack of concentration is a chronic problem, exceeded only by the frustration of being denied the right to see your children. (pg 25)
Immediately, the father finds himself in a maze of confusing litigation. He spends thousands of dollars to retain an attorney. Police often request the father to take lie detector tests. Even though he submits to and often passes several polygraph tests, it does him little good as the tests are not admissible in court. A single attorney is rarely sufficient to provide an appropriate defense in this type of case. Thousands of dollars must be spent to retain psychologists and other expert witnesses in the fields of sexual abuse.
In an attempt to prove their innocence, many fathers submit to invasive and humiliating psycho-sexual testing, such as the penile plethysmograph. The cost of testing, attorneys, expert witnesses and other legal fees in this type of case often exceeds $50,000. The father sometimes has to mortgage his home and sell his assets to afford a sufficient defense. Naturally, little money is leftover at the end to use in a custody case. In the end, the vindictive wife usually succeeds in destroying her ex-husband's financial security and savings.
When a father has been falsely accused of molesting his child, even when no evidence substantiates the claim, he often loses custody of his children because the court decides to "play it safe". The father may not go to jail, but the temporary order preventing his access to his children may be made permanent. By no fault of his own, the father has lost his children, all because a mother chose to fight dirty in court. For the unfortunate father who loses his criminal case, he is locked away. Sentencing for child molesters is typically longer than sentencing for murder (Seidenberg, 1997). Men convicted of child molestation are constant targets of prison abuse by fellow inmates. Fathers, unjustly incarcerated, become bitter and less productive members of society.
The emotional scars that result from such a horrid battle may never disappear. Even when a father successfully fights off the false accusation, the effects of the ordeal may damage him for the rest of his life. It takes years to rebuild his reputation, if at all, in the eyes of his peer group. While he knows with certainty that he has committed no wrong, the planting of the seed of doubt in the hearts of his coworkers, parishioners, friends, family members and other associates can strain relationships interminably.
When a father is falsely accused of sexually molesting his own child he enters what will likely be the single most horrifying experience of his life. Society should be slow to condemn a man with no history of abuse who has been accused by his ex-wife during a custody case. You could be next.
Next Lesson - Signs That Your Ex Might Be Plotting Against You
References:
Leving, Jefferey M. (1997).Fathers’ Rights: Hard hitting and fair advice for every father involved in a custody dispute.New York, NY: Basic Books.
Seidenberg, Robert (1997). The Father’s Emergency Guide to Divorce-Custody Battle: A Tour through the Predatory World of Judges, Lawyers, Psychologists & Social Workers, in the Subculture of Divorce. Takoma Park, MD: JES Books.
Tong, Dean (2002). Elusive Innocence: Survival guide for the falsely accused. Lafayette, LA: Huntington House Publishers.
[Author's Note: The purpose of this series of articles is to address the specific issue of false child sexual abuse allegations made by women against men during custody litigation. However, any false abuse accusation made by either mom or dad that results in trauma to a child is a form of child abuse. Parental alienation tactics are used by both genders and should be equally condemned in the strongest terms possible. Future articles will address this gender-neutral issue.]
Jake Morphonios is a civil rights advocate and North Carolina State Coordinator for Fathers 4 Justice - US. The political opinions of Mr. Morphonios do not represent those of Fathers 4 Justice. Neither Mr. Morphonios nor F4J-US provide legal advice or assistance with individual cases.
Fathers seeking support or information, or other parties interested in becoming involved in the children's rights movement may contact Mr. Morphonios at: jake.morphonios@nc.f4j.us
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2008 Jake Morphonios, all rights reserved.
Published: Monday, March 24, 2008
Last modified: Tuesday, March 25, 2008
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If your goal here, was to raise awreness about the situation, then you have succeeded in doing so. At 20 years of age, and not having experienced the wonder of having a child, I would have never known (though should have guessed), that problems like this existed. I can't wait to read the next bit of info.
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-03-31 21:47:25
i am going through a nitemare with my ex mom of my 9 year old she has tried false aligations and telling courts im dangerous with zero evidence and court entertain it and then the expensive process begins to prove your not a monster mean while you dont see your child for a long time.now im getting another court date to enforce visitation and ex emialed me a threat saying if i dont go away and climb under a rock she will instruct her 15 year old daughter to make one phone call and my life will become a living hell so go away after already being cleared of false aligations made by her to dcfs and states attorney year ago now here we go again her same tactics some one help me please its sereal # 630 415 7310 mr harmantas i miss my 9 year old so much been a year with out her thanks to our courts who are receptive to false aligations
I agree with the main article , society should be slow to condemn a man with no history of abuse who has been accused by his ex-wife during a custody case. But if a man is Innocent, has no history of past abuse, was married and lived as a family with the child her whole life up til the divorce, and since divorce has been paying child support, it is very unlikely that his visitation rights would be removed, the court would only consider the wife's accusations if she presented clear and convincing evidence that abuse occurred.
If a court is at the point where they are asking for a psycho-sexual test such as the penile plethysmograph, they most likely have very good reason for asking for such test. The court only ask for these test when clear and convincing evidence has been presented that show that the court must protect the best interest of the child. So I say if you are Innocent just take the test ! These test are designed to help men who are not sexual deviates or pedophiles prove their innocence.
It is not the courts who are to blame it is the men who actually really do abuse children that are to blame ! The courts have to look out for the best interest of the children and innocent Dad's (or Mom's) should understand and care enough to just take the test. Not agreeing to testing does show some guilt in the eyes of the court. No one actually believes that child sexual abuse does not exist, we know that there are sickos out there that we all have to protect our children from. It is just sad that some innocent men are being falsely accused.
If you
(1) are being falsely accused
(2) have NO history of past abuse of a child
(3) have proof that you lived with your wife and child, before separation took place
(4) have proof that since the date of separation that you have faithfully paid support to you child (thus showing that you do care about the best interest of the child).
(5) have passed a polygraph test about the sexual abuse charges.
Then you have a case, and most likely would not be asked to take the psycho-sexual test , such as the penile plethyssmograph. If you are being asked to take the test and still claim to be innocent- then just take the test and sue her for the cost of the test if you are found to not be a sexual deviate. This way the children can be protected, the falsely accused men can have their innocence declared, and if a women does falsely accuse she can pay the price. But most importantly a Pedophile is not allowed to continue to victimize a family.
With respect, it is because of well-meaning, yet ignorant opinions such as the ones posted above that perpetuate this form of child abuse. A child that is ordered by a court to be separated from a loving parent, male or female, when that parent has done nothing wrong - is a victim of child abuse. Children need the nurture and companionship of both parents to develop healthy self-esteems and mature into emotionally sound adults.
When a child is unjustly subjected to various interrogation techniques to assess whether or not she has been sexually abused by her daddy, she is put through a set of damaging experiences that she will never forget. She will be prematurely sexualized and her ability to trust men may forever be damaged.
The real victims of false child abuse allegations made by mothers against fathers during divorce are the children. Don't ever forget it.
While I agree with some of the points of your message, I strongly disagree with your premise. You suggest that an innocent man has nothing to fear. That is absolutely false. A man facing a false accusation has everything to fear.
You suggest that if a man is innocent, he should willingly subject himself to the life-destroying turmoil of an child sex abuse investigation. Your assertion, however well-intentioned, flies in the face of basic constitutional precedent and ethical jurisprudence. The US Constitution states that all men are created with certain inalienable rights, among them the right to liberty. The government may not take away a person's liberty without due process. Basically, this means that a person is innocent until proven guilty. When a man is accused of molesting a child, however, just the opposite happens. He is immediately stripped of rights and compelled to demonstrate that he has done nothing wrong to regain his rights.
You assert, without any evidence to support your claim, that a man falsely accused should not lose custody of his children. Marie, the mandatory first step followed by Child Protective Services after receiving a report of child sex abuse is to "protect the child" from the alleged abuser. Mothers are given ex-parte protection orders immediately upon request, after filing the report with CPS. It is STANDARD for a man to be denied visitation or contact with his children after a woman falsely accuses him. This is not a matter of debate. It is an absolute, verifiable fact.
As further evidence that you do not understand the process, I must point out that not only does a court not order tests such as the penile plethysmograph, but most courts do not allow such test results into a court case. Men willingly seek out these awful tests in their desperation to prove their innocense. You assert that if a man has done nothing wrong, then why not consent to intrusive testing? The answer is simple.
Let me ask you, Marie, if I accused you of sexually molesting your own little boy, how willing would you be to endure the experiences I illustrated in the article above? The truth is, you would resist every bit of it - because you are innocent. You would try to assert your right to protection from accidental self-incrimination guaranteed by the 5th ammendment - yet you would receive no such protection. Why? Because a person accused of molesting a child is charged with such a heinous crime that society doesn't mind sweeping the rights of the accused under the rug.
It is this type of false accusation that warrants constitutional protections. Yet, it is this type of case that usually ignores these protections.
Your resentment toward men is apparent in the language you used in your message. For example, you wrote: "It is not the courts who are to blame it is the men who actually really do abuse children that are to blame !" Allow me to correct you again. Statistics prove that women are just as likely to abuse children as men, if not more so. Second, it is not the job of the courts to look out for the best interest of the children. That is the job of the children's PARENTS. The problem is that courts, following a divorce, automatically strip the rights of one parent, usually the father, thus depriving the child of the care to which their Creator established for them.
To every child that is abused by a genuine pedophile, there are 1,000 children that are abused by a tyrannical system of family law that rips children's parents from them following a divorce.
Once upon a time in America, the prevailing feeling was that it was better to let 10 criminals go free than to incarcerate a single innocent man. Those days are long gone. Marie, I pray that you never have to learn these lessons first-hand. I can testify from personal experience that it is the most unbelievably unjust thing you will ever have to endure.
I am an advocate and like to help people so I noticed that the second comment above posted a phone # asking for help. Well before calling that number -I suggest you just google his name, you will discover that this man has actually had three children removed in the past (his lawyer sued for lack of payment), and this man is currently blogging on grammer school web sites (Gary elementry). He claims he is innocent in his entry here, but says he doesn't want to be tested. This may be due to his guilt.
As I mentioned in my posting above- we do all have to remember there are guilty men pretending to be falsly accused! This only hurts those who are truly falsly accused.
I highly doubt that anyone reading this can believe that on 4 seperate occasions involving 4 different children, and 2 totally unrelated women's accusations- that a man has really been falsly accused. Talk about bad luck !
First time Mr. Kim Harmantas lost all parental rights to three children and now currently was asked to take the psycho-sexual test and refussed even when the Mom agreed to pay for 1/2 of it , all this while not paying a cent in child support (all according to public records). How dare he comment with lies on this sight, that really wants to help victims of FALSE allegations !
Men and women who are really guilty should not be so bold as to go after visitation - this would make it so much easier for the real victims - those who actually are being falsly accused !
Because ever time a Judge goes through a case were it is clear that a sexual deviat is claiming to be a "Good DAD" it will make the Judge (rightfully so) more careful before giving visitation to a real good Dad who is actually being falsly accused. We all have to unite against Pediphiles.
False allegations should be publicly cleared, the accuser should have to pay for a full front page ad in the newspaper declairing the lie and the innocence of the one falsly accused. But Pediphiles who are found guilty should be punished !
I agree with most of your corrections. I feel so strongly against false accusations. But what should the courts do when in fact some parents are guilty of abuse ? They have to protect the children while it is investigated, don't they ?
Maybe if the courts did truly start punishing the Mothers (or fathers) who make the false accusations, this horrable unjust event would become rare in our court system. As I stated in my last comment anyone found guilty should have to pay to restore the victims reputation.
But as you said , yes the children are the victims too. Not only the children who get allenated from their loving and caring supportive fathers. But even more so the children who are forced into visitation situations with a pediphile, even when supervised ,the child victims rights are not respected. I can't imagine being forced to visit some one who victimized me.
Jake , I must add that I am sorry that I came off as sounding like I resent men, I in fact do not resent men. I meant to say "It is not the courts who are to blame, it is the Pediphiles who abuse children and then have the nerve to claim to be good parents who are to blame". We all have to agree with this !
I invite people to write in with idea's of how the court should handle abuse charges ? Considering that some are true and some are false.
"I suggest you just google his name, you will discover that this man has actually had three children removed in the past (his lawyer sued for lack of payment), and this man is currently blogging on grammer school web sites (Gary elementry). He claims he is innocent in his entry here, but says he doesn't want to be tested. This may be due to his guilt."
I am taken aback by your illogical conclusion. You are demonstrating exactly the kind of attitude and poor reasoning that tries to justify the abuse of process against innocent victims of false allegations. You say that your Google search revealed that this man 1) had three children removed in the past, 2) was sued by his lawyer for lack of payment and 3) posts messages on an elementary school web site. You claim from this "evidence" that he is clearly guilty of sexually abusing a child.
Marie, you should be ashamed of yourself. You have passed judgment on this man based on nothing more than personal bias. This man has been through hell and you presume to have sufficient knowledge and insight to justify heaping hot coals on top of him. I just don't understand your reasoning. I assumed that you had come across some damning evidence against this person, so I decided to follow your counsel and look at the material you found.
1) I searched on both Google and Yahoo for what you read about him having 3 children removed and didn't see anything about it. Let's say that you are correct, though. So what? The fact that a court stops a man from seeing his children isn't proof that he has done anything wrong! That is the whole problem that I'm trying to address! The problem isn't true criminals, the problem is innocent men. Innocent men are being deprived of contact with their children - not because of PROOF but because of FALSE ACCUSATIONS of wrongdoing that are rarely supportable in court.
You wrote:
"First time Mr. Kim Harmantas lost all parental rights to three children and now currently was asked to take the psycho-sexual test and refussed even when the Mom agreed to pay for 1/2 of it , all this while not paying a cent in child support (all according to public records). How dare he comment with lies on this sight, that really wants to help victims of FALSE allegations!"
Where are these public records, Marie? I'd like to read them. You are exceptionally specific in your statement - as if you have some special knowledge of the matter. I also notice that your grasp of the English language is comparable to Kim's. Are you related? Are you the former wife of Kim? Where are you getting this information from? Or are you making it up?
2) In 1997 an attorney that had represented this individual requested an order from the court to compel payment of $1,400 from the client. The request states that the client is indigent. That means that he can't afford to pay! And no wonder... false accusations destroy the financial security of the accused. Many men have to spend as much as $50,000 to defend themselves against false allegations. Dean Tong spent over $150,000 to defend himself. Is it surprising to you that a person would struggle to pay those kinds of attorney's fees? Could you, Marie? Do you have an extra ten grand set aside to pay a lawyer to defend yourself from an unexpected false allegation? Finally, how can you possibly think that this man's inability to pay his legal fees somehow indicates that he molested a child? Your argument is devoid of logic.
3) This man is NOT "blogging on grammer school web sites" as you stated. The only thing you gave to support your false assertion is that he appears on "Gary Elementary". Had you bothered to look at the Google page you are referencing, you would have immediately known that the page is an advertisement for CLASSMATES.COM for alumni of that elementary school. Many, many people's names come up in Google searches as part of classmates.com advertisements. Not only does this individual have no personal writings of any kind on this page about Gary Elementary, but there isn't a single other reference of him "blogging on grammer school web sites". His only crime is that his name was culled by Classmates.com to sell their services because he attended the school from 1965-1969. First of all, the word is spelled "grammar" and second of all, I cannot help but conclude from this evidence that you lied about this man to fortify a weak argument you were trying to make.
"...ever time a Judge goes through a case were it is clear that a sexual deviat is claiming to be a "Good DAD" it will make the Judge (rightfully so) more careful before giving visitation to a real good Dad who is actually being falsly accused."
What? You think that a judge is right to be slow to let children see their dads because there are bad guys in the world? How about this Marie: IT ISN'T THE PLACE OF THE COURT TO BE DECIDING WHETHER A GOOD DAD SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE HIS KIDS TO BEGIN WITH. The Supreme Court has stated that the most basic of all liberty interests protected by the Constitution is the right to the care and control of one's own children. When a couple gets a divorce there should be a rebuttable presumption of equal custody. If a mom and a dad shared custody before a divorce, they should continue to share custody after a divorce. Unless and until a man is found guilty of a crime of abuse, through due process before a jury of his peers, he should not be treated like a criminal and have his custody rights stripped by a family court.
This is such a basic concept, yet it seems few Americans remember that our rights do not come from our government, they come from God. The purpose of government is not to grant rights - it is to protect them. But when it comes to child custody, just the opposite happens.
The irony of this discussion is overwhelming. I wrote an article about women that make false accusations against men. You responded to my article BY MAKING FALSE ACCUSATIONS AGAINST A MAN. You have been caught in your own words, right here for everyone to see.
Marie, you aren't an "advocate" in this area - you are a part of the problem. Stop making false assertions of guilt against people. You savaged his man without having any evidence, save your biased opinion only.
I hope that other people who read these messages will take from this discussion a greater understanding of the monumental bias that exists against men falsely accused of child molestation and the speed at which others will condemn a man based only on the speculation of a "well-intentioned" person trying to "protect the children".
"Maybe if the courts did truly start punishing the Mothers (or fathers) who make the false accusations, this horrable unjust event would become rare in our court system. As I stated in my last comment anyone found guilty should have to pay to restore the victims reputation."
I agree. A false child sexual abuse allegation, while usually ensuring the legal victory for the mother, is destructive to all parties involved. Child molestation is a terrible crime and false accusations play on the natural prejudices of society to the extent that victory can almost be guaranteed for the accuser. The loss of fathers in the lives of their children has many negative consequences for society as a whole.
Laws need to be passed that protect the rights of the accused as in any other type of trial. Penalties for false accusers must be created and imposed. Social workers, judges, and others involved in the investigation of this type of allegation must be taught the syndromes that affect children when a false abuse claim is made. Sexual abuse claims made in the middle of custody proceedings must be viewed with some skepticism. Judges must be made aware of the usefulness of certain scientific tests, not currently admissible in court, which may help to vindicate the accused.
Finally, an emphasis on more stable families will lead to fewer divorces, and, therefore, fewer false abuse claims. Until these, and other, reforms take place, innocent children will continue to be used as pawns in a senseless game of legal strategy.
Regarding my comments about Mr. Harmantas . I'll keep this brief. In his entry he is talking about a current case involving a 9 year old were a GAL asked for the tests and Mr. Harmantas dropped his case seeking visitation. I was able to log on to Court records. He also lost three children in 1991 according to court records not to a wife but to foster parents. I'm not saying that makes him guilty. I just said "could he be guilty or just very unlucky." Surly you don't believe that all accused pedophiles are innocent ! And no he did not just have something on class mates .com. He was blogging about his past sexual experiences on two web sites that children sign on to. One was Gary elementary and one was a Sims game site- the reason you were not able to find these sites is because I reported abuse.
Like you , I have a passion against false accusations. I also have a very strong passion against actual pedophiles. You should be upset if an actual guilty person uses sites for victims of false accusations, as a place to try to convince the world or maybe themselves that they are innocent, it dilutes what this site is trying to do.
Thanks for keeping an open mind.
Sorry if my spelling and grammar are not up to par, this is just a blog site.
You started this discussion by acting like you were just browsing along and happened to see my article. You read it and also looked at the comments other people left. One of the comments was by a man who was asking for help. You claim that you innocently googled the guy and happened upon a wealth of damning evidence against him and concluded by declaring him a pedophile.
I followed your suggestion to likewise Google his name, which I did. I did not see the same information that you said I would. You responded by explaining that to find this evidence you have to access web pages that do not appear in a regular search.
How did you just stumble upon court records and other web pages without having some intimate knowledge of this man or his case? Why, if you have not vested interest in him or his case, did you expend such a vast amount of time to research his history? I'm confused. You seem to have an agenda.
I'll conclude on a point of agreement. Naturally, any person that abuses a child should be separated from the child to prevent further abuse. That goes without saying. But a more important point is that child abuse by the government is taking place on an astronomically greater rate than that of any real or perceived pedophiles. Depriving millions of children of the companionship of their fathers following divorce is abusive, tyrannical, invasive and unconstitutional. An ever-increasing reason that courts separate kids from their fathers is because women have discovered that they can defeat their husbands in divorce/custody court by making false allegations of abuse. That family courts are aware of this practice and continue to countenance it is unconscionable.
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-04-09 16:17:53
marie is not her name. her real first name is marianne and strange she wont devulge her full name. she is being very deceptive in her writtings! and it is strange she is not using my child the 9 year old to make false aligations with instead she choose her daughter [my step daughter] who is now 15 and got pregnant at 12 . mom was always out chasing bar bands all nights and allowed boys to sleep overnites in her daughters room she was 12 then. i protested that she was allowing that and she said i had a dirty mind and its clean inicent fun they are having and soon after "boom", daughter 12 came up pregnant and i and my abuse councler ,[ i was receiving councling for mental and physical abuse by marianne] even reported the neglect of supervission in her home with her children but because one child there was over 18 they could do nothing marianne slept almost every night by her boy friends house guy i caught her cheatting on me with and would leave the children alone each nite and she returned in the early morning then went from there to work each day after coming from my apartment she always stoped at my apartment for reasons i will not delvulge then went on home 10 blocks away to her children. soon after 3 month 2003 i ended completely all intimicy with her and she cut me from seeing my child . marianne said to me i since i cut everything off in our triangle relationship then i dont need to see my daughter anymore. soon after she charged me large amounts of money to see my daughter and then in 2006 i filed for visitation court apointed visits not in her control any more and then she cut off me seeing my daughter again up till even now ....
All I did was google his name and from there I (as you) found some thing from a lawyer suing him for fee's, and with in that I found the indictment numbers for the case were he was found guilty of abuse and in fact did have his three children removed by the State. Now years later the same thing is happening to him again. I never said he was guilty. I just said it sure seems strange that the same thing could happen to him with regards to three four different children. I work for a county court and am used to looking up cases, but anyone can do it. Now the two childrens sites are cleared because I reported the abuse, because he was commenting about his sex life and left his phone number , He may just be stupid.
I think we all can learn a lesson from this. Don't use your full name on a blog site and don't give your phone number out either. But mostly don't believe everything you read or hear.
I see people lie all the time in court including people filing orders of protection. I am sorry for the shame anyone is put through unjustly. I volunteer a lot of time helping people who I believed are innocent fill out court motions . I believe we all are innocent until found guilty, and that yes it is a sin that in these cases it seems you have to prove you are innocent.
Now sorry Jake, but I must disagree with your last comment and ask you if you have an issue with women. ? You said "Depriving millions of children of the companionship of their fathers following divorce is abusive, tyrannical, invasive and unconstitutional .An ever-increasing reason that courts separate kids from their fathers is because women have discovered that they can defeat their husbands in divorce/custody court by making false allegations of abuse". You are aware that men are just as guilty of making false reports against women, and the courts have often given custody to the Father who had more money then to the falsely accused Mother. So lets be fair. Bottom line is that who ever lies in court needs to be punished or the system is only going to get worse as morals are on the decline.
It seems that Mr. Harmantas thinks I am a Marianne that he has some strong issues with. But from what he writes he and Marianne should not have brought a child into this world as it seems they are both children themselves. True we have not heard Marianne's side.
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-04-09 16:48:03
correction i ended my relationship completely in 3rd month of 2004 . marie [marianne] response later that day she called me and told me i need to go away for ever dissapear or she will have her 12 year old daughter make a dcfs repot saying i touched her but and did a sexaul act in front of her . i went directly to ther police station and talked to a police sargent i had been talking to for months about what marianne had been doing to me and sharing my complaint about her always hitting me and other things and i told him what she was threatening to do to me if i didnt disapear and police went to her home questioned her and she and children denied any wrong doing by me, orwould not admit even saying that. then he called me and told me i should avoid contact with a person like her and get my visitation through the courts dont deal with her.not a goood idea. then in 2007 i recieved a visitation order to see my daughter the next week end. wouldnt you know, marianne made a false report to children family services that i sent sexaul content sex sites to my daughters email my 9 year old then a week later called and made another report that i touched her daughter , my step daughter back then the 12 year old and rubbed her butt. it was a nightmare for me i got a call from choldren family sevices and the states attorney office. both departments said it was very suspicious and was aware of the circumstances and kind of had a clue to what mariaane was pulling but still had to investigate then soon after marianne signed a court document in court recinding the aligations she made. then soon after i recieved letters and email fom both states attorney and children family services that vafter a intense investigation by both departments there was no evidence and case investigation terminated. it took 10 years off my life! they informed me they would not prosecute her for any false aligations but my lawyer would have to do it. mariaane then told my daughter daddys going to lock mommy up and now my daughter 9 year old hates me i have recorded my conversations with my 9 year old then it is enough to mke you sick if you hear the hate and brain washing my ex did to my lovely daughter. now she threatens me again with emails to me if i continue attempting visitation i will be sorry and all her 15 year old has to do is pick up ther phone Jesus
God help my daughter and i. i have 5 other grown children and their mom ran off with a drug problem years ago it was hoard to care for 5 children in the 80;s i recieved homes that cared for then bow i have a wonderful rerlationship with all of them, i have never smoked or did drugs and drank and got drunk three times in my entire life but i pick the wrong women up to 3 yearsd ago thanks to my councler who showed me why i pick wrong women
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-04-09 17:09:47
As always your lieing again you always adress me as mr harmantas and dont you think i recognise your way of writting and terminoligy you use ?even jake cought on to who you might be! cant you even tell the truth about even the least important thing? So sad ! our poor daughter marianne so sad you just dont care how you damage children by using them for minipulitive purposes. i want to be in my daughters life and father her and she is cut off from all her other sisters on my side thanks to you. look i understand your fear of dan finding out you was still with me while you started out with him in the beginning2003 and beginning of 2004. all i want is my daughter i will never tell him i swear that on all my children please stop all this crap its hurting our children please stop for our daughter sake 8 years i gave you my all and all 100% of my self i was true to you, and our daughter and i do not deserve this. in the name of Jesus God stop it please!!
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-04-09 17:27:52
marie i was not found guilty of child abuse years ago that is so wrong. look call me if you really are not mariaane we need to talk. marianne created false evidense downloaded from the internet then took it to order of protection court last year and told courts i put that on her car window and wouldnt you know they gave her the request call me 630- 415 -7310 that is of course if your not marianne but i know differant ! and i continued letting my childrfen years ago stay in foster care while in the system i had no way of caring for 5 children their mom was a drug adict and and left me with all 5 children 2 years before that then i brought her back and cause of her conduct dcfs got involved and cause i left the children in the system so long they adopted you welcome to talk to those children of mine now from back then they are grown and they will tell you what i went through with their mom and even marianne came to court with me back then in the 90's and i continued to stay with marianne and marianne was very knowledgeable of that whole case info since she went both to my court dates then abd councling yet she still allowed me to live with her children trusted me causae she knew and saw first hand in court i did nothing wrong other then pick bad women and bring children in ther world with them . my mother was in tears over the women i picked and that i brought children into the world with them on top of it / CALL ME SOON 630-415-7310 MARIE?
Mr. Harmantas I am sorry if I offended you. If you are actually a victim here I am sorry for what you are going through. I just am reading too many holes in your story, you may want to sit down and write it all down and record dates of when and how things happened before you go into court as your own testamony about yourself here on this blog site kinda finds you to be unfit. You say you found homes for 5 children because you could not care for them. Well why are you writing on this blog that is for parents who would have done what ever they could just to get their kids ? You say it was to hard so you gave them up. I in fact did read about a man named Kim Harmantas who had three children taken away and put into foster care, yes I guess there may be two differant Kim Harmantas' . Another observation , why did you wait from 2004 to 2007(according to your own writing) to get a visitation order ? Was that also to hard for you to do ? Their are Moms and Dads that wouldn't find caring for their children to be to hard that are crying them selves to sleep each night missing their children ! Do you have any idea what goes on in some of these homes ? But then again judging by what you said about your admitted home life, I guess they maybe did fair better in foster care. I am so tierd of people who drop the ball on their own kids.
Enough said . I'm moving to a site that Mr. Harmantas is not on. I wish all the innocent falsly accused parents justice and I will pray for justice for all the kids who have actually been abused too.
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-04-09 18:04:06
i had visitation with my daughter between 2004 and 2007 up till i filed for court order visits tne soon as marianne discovered i filed in court she said i will have to fight to see my daughter now and cut me off from her my daughter call me and i will be happy to explained how dcfs ended up getting involved back the in 90's the court removed my children till it coiuld be sorted out but as time went on i waited to long to retrieve them cause i did not jump through all the hoopps i was very screwed around unfairly by the dcfs court then till this day you can speak to one worker from then i still have contact with she said my kids and i got screwed over by a very disfunctional and dishonest case workers but i did have all 5 of my children for two and a half years up till i made a big mistake and brought my ex their mom back and she started her drugs and running around and bringing men into the house ... and if you want to hear the rest call me 630 415 7310 even marianne saw the horrible system marianne even bent over and whispered a threat to my ex the mother of my kids in the system she threatened to beat her up cause of what she cause and what she caused the children to go through my daughter was molested by the father in her foster home and same happened to 2 of my other daughters in the system along with abuse the case workers lied to me and said all was well and wonderful . so qhestion if i was a abuser then why did marianne allow me to live with her children and even take them on road trips in my 18 wheeeler? marianne was with me then while i was dealing with children family services and courts back in early 90;s when her and me got together she had first hand knowledge of it all. and now she says i was a abuser then? so then she knowingly endangered her children with me for 8 years? i tried to be a father and parent in her home to her children as she was a very permissive mom no control they drank partyed and you name it even her son 15 had friends over and drugs and marianne bought them the beer i attempted to end that party and call the police and i got the phone over my head back in 2000. i remember ripping a wall full of naked explisit porno off her 15 year old sons bedroom wall and i got puched in the face spit at and kicked for what marianne said was not minding my own bussiness her children never in school except for a few months and she faked home schooloing when i called child protective service while living with her she did. all i said in the other blogs is she went from my bed to daniel b bed for 4 months is that bad to say? does that sound like im inviting children as you suggested? my blogs ended up on alot of sites . the sad part about this whole thing is loved my daughter and marianne very dearly they was my world i would go straight from work to home home to work and all i could think about was how much i valued my daughter and marianne . she was to disfunctional to see or appreciate or respond to it or to love back. her children hated me cause i represented parenting and structure and bounderies and respect to adults by the time david and alisa and nora wouldnt even talk to me any more or interact even though i sacrifeiced for them they hated me with a resentment and passion i gave them their own rooms and marianne and i slept with our baby daughter in the dinning room. then marianne took a turn for the worse she started up with the bars and bar bands very out of charactor for her while i stayed cimmited to our baby daughter i was a home body there is nothing in the bar scene
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-04-09 18:21:12
till this day all i feel is heart break and dissapointment in marianne i have never felt any hate for her when you truly loved some one if you truly loved them regardles of how they wrong you all you can feel is hurt pain heartbreak dissapointment to have the person you loved and charished more then any one in this world turn on you like that really sad and most of all sad for her chaildren and our daughter i pray every day that God will do something in her life to bring about change in her heart it is hard to believe cause of her actions but she taught all about Jesus in sunday, school the same Jesus she need very badly today her self as we all do ! God have pitty on her soul because one day we will all stand before God and be judged for every thing we did ! She has my life turned upside down for the last 5 years All that matters to me now is fathering my daughter sooon as possible and i can imagine what my daughter is feeling inside she has all good memeories of me i played with her for hours each day barbies with her and went to the parks and i bought her thousands of dollars in toys call me marie? 630 415 7310
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-04-09 18:29:49
one thing for sure when i get my visits with my daughter i will never be alone with her after what i went through my daughter amanda her sister 22 years old who lives with me along with my 19 year old son will be with her 100% of the time my ex is very acusitory im even instaling security cameras in my home except for in the bath room to document and record my visits with my daughter in my home
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-04-09 18:50:13
i didnt comment about my sex life on any blogs, any where all i said was marianne went from daniels bed to my bed for about three months which is a provable fact even in a police report i made against her for hitting and bruising me back in the beginning of 2004 your turning what i said into everything one can imagine including making it a invitation for children you are really trying to creat something here that just doesnt exist your grabbing at air marianne !
Jake, what do you think about the state of Texas' DFPS and the local sheriff storming a community with snipers and an APC, holding 400+ kids hostage for weeks incommunicado (with the ability hold them up to 18 months), and involuntarilly genetically sampling these children after a certain "Rozita Swinton" apparently phoned in bogus claims to San Angelo DFPS? By the way, legal age of marriage (with parental consent) in Texas was 14 up through 2005, 16 thereafter. Does the state really think that all these children, if placed up for adoption, will be safer(!) in foster homes? Pure misery for those poor kids regardless of what happens. I'm sure all the lawyers will be feasting on the carcass of YFZ for years to come; with sovereign immunity, I suppose no one will be suing DFPS for completely distorting the concept of "probable cause".
"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."
I guess the framers left "children" out of that litany, and expected us to know what "unreasonable" means...
[As a matter of full disclosure I don't condone gaming age of consent laws, entertaining adulterous relations, or practicing 'polygamy' (dedicated bachelor). So far all my married neighbors have graciously abstained from calling a SWAT team to rid themselves of my potential for nuisance.]
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-04-22 16:11:40
children get physicaly and sexauly abused in foster homes all the time and it is covered up by the social workers. i am in tears over what our goverment is doing to all those texes children with not a shred of evidence except for a phone call made to make a bogus complaint by the police them selfs they fabricated a complaint phone call so they can have a excuse to go in to the texas compond. in this country way back in our old history women married at 13 and up and stayed married till death. of course people lived short lives back then. now in this country walking around in our malls our children 7 and up dressed like strippers in a dance club exposeing their breast and butts and pants so low you see their pelvic bones very sad and sick they are just about naked! what has happened to our morals ? it is sick and disgusting . at least at the texes compond children and women dont walk around exposing and exhibition their privit body parts like it is done in what is called out in the normal world why do people make fun at how they dress they are modest . if there is a real God up there then this country is in deep trouble for imorality and murdering children in the womb. we are worse then sodom and gomorah. i say God damn america not God bless america we are a evil nation how dare we judge other evil nations has any one looked at our real history how this country got started ? and what we did to the natiave people that was here before we came here? this is a anti family country and legal system and sociaity
Posted By: kim harmantas
Date: 2008-04-22 16:20:24
i want to make it very clear that in no way do i think it is right for any older men to take advantage of underage children. or and exploit the younger girls underage for sexaul purposes. the law of the land should be obeyed as long as the laws are moral laws. sad but it is legal to kill murder chidren in the womb!!
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