Topic: Libertarianism
Statism on Steroids Felony, felony; all is felony.by Random Outlier
(libertarian)
Monday, February 18, 2008
It is amazing how well a guy can get along without television. Likewise it's just too easy to flop down before the pernicious tube, destroying IQ points and doing to the psyche what ol' Satch said fried foods do to your stomach.
My latest excuse for a little tube time: godawful weather on the northern plains last week. Snow, cold, wind, and general dammitalltohell conditions made it too easy to lean back and cruise channels.
For some reason I stopped to watch the Waxman gang grill Roger Clemens and his one-time, ex-cop, trainer.
I learned -- or rather, was reminded -- that everything is illegal if a congressman gets nosy and you don't satisfy him.
Suppose you happen to find yourself somewhere where no one has yet thought to criminalize discreet public urination -- somewhere in the backwoods of Arkansas, maybe.
You duck behind a tree and ease yourself, unaware of the bird-watching lady in haute camo from Land's End who espies you and is horrified.
In due course she creates a stink among her saintly Junior League friends, one of whom is cousin to U.S. Rep. Somebody, D-Ark., who smells teevee cameras and calls a hearing.
Like the Junior Leaguers, he despises the thought of unauthorised outhanging, an offense against the sensibilities of the righteous everywhere and hence a call for action at the highest federal levels.
You are summoned. You testify. And because you're just like everyone else, you may hedge a bit about the outrage you committed. Her binoculars were foggy. You were just adjusting your shirt tail. Your BPE created eliminatory urgency.
After all, no one likes to admits to an action which, however lawful, is viewed as somewhat disreputable.
If Rep. Somebody thinks you're fibbing, he summons up the majesty of the U.S. Department of Justice which can try to have you indicted for perjury. Being rich, it will probably succeed if it has an idle lawyer lounging around the water cooler, pining for a project to move himself up the GS ladder.
Lying to congress is felony, you see, even though lying in congress is perfectly legal, not to mention one its venerable traditions.
So you and pitcher Clemens are in the same boat, potential felons based on a behavior which was not necessarily illegal.
In the case of Clemens, I wonder if our Ron Paul might not be willing to take to the floor of the U.S. House and suggest that we have just wasted another fortune to create something very like an ex post facto law.
No one has heretofore accused Clemens of criminal actions. If he did take the get-big drugs, he committed a dishonorable act and perhaps violated a private contract with his private employer. A modest constitutional assumption is that such breaches are none of congress's damned business.
Failing to make that assumption, one is left with the viewpoint that any private dispute may rise to the level of federal perjury if even one congressman decides to hold a hearing and exits the committee room with the opinion that he has not heard the truth.
Others may credit your average U.S. solon with a judgment so keen and a moral sense so finely honed. I'm not among them.
May I make it clear that I care little one way or another for Mr. Clemens or professional baseball. Once upon a time I did, the time when the major leagues consisted of 16 teams in two leagues vying for a championship to be decided prior to the opening of basketball season. All of that was sufficient.
The sport's deterioration into just another teevee spectacle, more profitable even than bottled tap water at a buck-fifty a pint, drove me away. It struck me as a gauche and over-reaching exploitation of a boys' game.
But it's really none of my business. If baseball wants to pee in the park, I simply avert my eyes.
So should congress.
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