Topic: Ron Paul
No, You May Not Vote for Ron Paul!

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You're too smart to vote for Ron Paul! You know better! As a well-informed voter you have a broad selection of other superior candidates!

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by creator
(libertarian)
Saturday, December 29, 2007

♣ This message is brought to you as a public service by ABC-FOX, a subsidiary of CNN/Disney in cooperation with MSNBC-AP/UPI, wholly owned subsidiaries of Rupert Murdoch, Inc. NOTE: Don't miss the fine print† afterwards...

My fellow Americans, I need not remind you (although I am ever so pleased to do so!) that you all have free will†, to be exercised in any way you see fit in the upcoming presidential elections!

As a very intelligent and consummately well-informed voter, you have an unprecedentedly wide selection of choices within which to begin to exercise your free will†. You may cleverly choose from any of the following candidate lists:

a: Democan Candidates
b: Republicrat Candidates
c: Other (but of course you're smart enough to choose from one of the first two respectable categories, aren't you? :)

Ah, I see you have chosen Republicrat -- Excellent choice!

In the primary election, you may put your free will† to best use by choosing anyone you like from the following list:

a: McRudliani
b: Romnabee
c: Thomunter

Yes! An absolutely grand selection! You are so astute, and what an independent thinker you are!

Now for the final climactic event, we come to the 2008 Presidential Election itself! Please, very carefully, choose freely† among the following fantastically wonderful options:

a: Hilarobama
b: McRucakbeeani

Congratulations! Once again, as a proud American, you have utilized your unconstrained free will† to elect another fine American President!

Hail to the Chief!
Hooray for President Hilabamruckabiani!
We can look forward to four more wonderful years!

Feeling liberated yet?

†NOTE: "free will" not available in all jurisdictions. Subject to the whim of what you hear the most on TV and radio. Regulated by certain societally-enforced exceptions. Not all candidates available in all areas. Restricted by your embarrassment to appear to be different from your neighbor. Your co-workers may subject you to voluntary restrictions of free will so that you can continue to be a "team player." Family pressure may apply. The elders of your church may require certain modes of thought within which you may exercise your free will righteously. In all cases, choosing a small-government fiscally conservative candidate proven to uphold his Constitutional oath of office (most notorious and egregious example: Ron Paul) is most definitely outside of the allowable constraints within which any rational modern enlightened voter is reasonably expected to exercise their free will. No un-electable candidates need apply. May be licensed, regulated, restricted, and certain federal taxes, FEC contribution limitations, and other surcharges may apply.

Copyright (c) 2007 by Dann McCreary (aka creator)
- Permission to copy with attribution granted.

Find out more about Ron Paul here.

©2007 creator, all rights reserved. You must have written permission from the author in order to republish this work.
Published: Saturday, December 29, 2007
Last modified: Saturday, December 29, 2007

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