Force is what sadly defines each and every move that government makes. Absence of that force is what a voluntary "society" is all about. In this article I'll give what I believe to be the best way to handle the executive level of government in a new republic such as a former state that was smart enough to bloodlessly opt out of the United States. I'll refer to the head of this new republic as either a "president" or "governor".
This is not business as usual nor anything fit for those who have an intense love for government as it currently is or how they'd like to see it grown to be. For those folks, I ask that you sit down when you read this as the following was written by a hardcore Libertarian who has taken on some quite anarchistic (I like to think of it as voluntary behavior and interactions with all) notions as of late. You may thank the guys at freetalklive.com for my education. Now that I think about it, you may also wish to have a cup or two of coffee in your gut before you read on. I want you wide awake for this.
Below are the duties and obligations of a Governor/President:
No Meddling. That's your order of the day, every day. Feel free to post that in various parts of your office and even throughout your home if necessary, should you think yourself prone to slip up and forget. You are the elected boss of a new republic (for lack of a better term for it) and you will have a sufficiently armed citizenry. Since you don't mess with people in other locales they will see fit not to gang up on you and take any of your stuff.
When you wake up in the morning, kiss the wife (I'm assuming you're not a bachelor) and tell her what a great day it is in the land. If there are kids dwelling there with you in the newly converted Governor's Mansion, then by all means give them a smooch too when you tell them that you love them and how lucky they are not to be living in that cesspool lorded over by foul politicos commonly referred to as the United States. Make sure the tutor is on time or better yet, home school the little darlings yourself as you're going to have plenty of time in your new role as leader of a truly free and independent nation.
Hop on down to the kitchen and exercise your executive powers as dictator of the cooking and serving areas of the home. Please keep in mind that this is the realm where your absolute influence as tyrannical force behind anything at all, pretty much begins and ends.
As any fat person (not just myself as a fat person) will tell you, after breakfast comes lunch. Just before lunch, a lunkheaded relic from a previous administration who calls himself an "advisor" furiously rings the doorbell and you answer it to him puffing and panting about some headline in the paper. You decide to humor the guy and read the story. It relates some of the usual and printed daily, mindless blather about "without government intervention" chaos will ensue and possibly all clocks will spin backwards.
Being an advisor, he'll seek out your advice (strange that, eh?) and ask what you should do. Being a man of action you will do something. It's very close to noon. He should find himself fortunate that he has arrived for lunch at some really fancy digs and roast beef is on the menu.
A wise choice was made by you to opt instead for dining on the patio with your sweaty advisor friend, rather than fool yourself with the silly whim of interfering in the lives of the folks that volunteer their cash to a fund (i.e. lottery) to keep you in such a plush lifestyle. Those "No Meddling" sticky notes you stuck on the desk worked. Tommorrow is another day yet you have the good sense to do the right thing and not use government to cure a problem that you would end up using more government to attempt to get you out of.
You have one of the best and easiest jobs in the world. People of the future will hold you and your legacy out as a truly heroic one, should you live in an age where the history books are not written by curmudgeons nor their vile lackeys.
With Liberty,
Dan Steward
©2008 Dan Steward, all rights reserved. You must have written permission from the author in order to republish this work.
Published: Saturday, November 15, 2008
Last modified: Saturday, November 15, 2008
The views expressed in this article are those of Dan Steward only and do not represent the views of Nolan Chart, LLC or its affiliates. Dan Steward is solely responsible for the contents of this article and is not an employee or otherwise affiliated with Nolan Chart, LLC in his/her role as a columnist.
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Reader Comments:
Posted By: Jake, the champion of the constitution
Date: 2008-11-15 03:16:56
I am surprised that the new president must be heterosexual, but at least there is no reference to skin color :)
Posted By: Dan Steward
Date: 2008-11-15 06:01:04
The new "prez" or "guv" if you like, may be straight. He may be more gay than a fairy dressed in pink, sliding down a rainbow, for all I care. It simply doesn't matter to me.
Who and how he/she loves simply doesn't come into play, in my book. He could just as well be a she, instead and snog the mister at 6:00 am before scrambled eggs, biscuits & gravy (yahoo! I got to write about food again, I love this gig). It goes without saying also that race plays no role in this election.
Will El Presedente possibly rule with an iron fist only in the domicile in which he/she lives or be an interfereing bonehead? The rest just doesn't matter to ole' Dad.
Glad you liked my story, Jake. A good word from you, means a lot to me.
With Liberty,
Dan Steward
Posted By: Jake, the champion of the constitution
Date: 2008-11-16 01:32:01
Dan -
always enjoy your articles, although I don't comment all the time.
You have a point there - a lesbian dressed in pink "sliding down the rainbow" would certainly add some 'diversity' to this White House.
People everywhere are lauding the 'diversity' our new president-elect's skin color (dont get me wrong, I think its great too, whatever my opinions are on his actual policies/ideas). Plus he's traveled everywhere, besides being a schoolchild under a totalitarian regime in Indonesia, he also vacationed one summer in the palaces of some rich families in Pakistan while in college - hope he doesnt bomb them, that would not be a very good return on hospitality.
Posted By: trd
Date: 2008-11-16 13:19:26
I want to be that President or Governor. Do I get your vote? It would be cool to do nothing and live of a state lottery. Then be applauded or congratulated on a good job at doing nothing!!!
Unfortunately the opposition party is going to claim (rightfully so) that I have done nothing to run the gorvernment. Then I would have to agree. ...and then people will vote again for the one who promises...etc...